I argued this with my wife. My premise was you choose your wife or husband. Your kids are gifts. It isn't a race but you need to remember your wife/husband will still be with you after the kids leave the nest. It took years of patience but she finally told me I was right.
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As a widow I will tell you it doesn’t always work out that way. And the whole premise is stupid. Love is available in unlimited quantities. No triage necessary.
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Sorry for your loss. My wife passed too. Left me to bring up two kids. The youngest, our daughter was 6 days shy of turning 2. But we had over 20 happy years together between dating, living together and marriage. The issue isn't how much love you have it's how you prioritize.1/2
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If you always put the kids happiness ahead of your own, you won't be truly happy with anyone for long. My wife tried it for a few years after our 1st was born. She finally came to realize that she really needed to take some time for herself and for us too.
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Kids aren’t happy with miserable parents - of course not. Love and caring for children doesn’t come before or after love and caring for your partner or yourself but happens cohesively.
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I sincerely hope my parents love each other a bit more than they love me. They chose each other. They are LIFE partners. It doesn’t mean they don’t love me, but they were together long before I got here & I hope when I move they don’t feel like the best part is gone.
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You choose your spouse, not your kids. A marriage that lasts a lifetime needs to be strong before children arrive & after children leave to live their own lives. I don't think a parent who loves their spouse more than their kids are neglectful, they're fulfilled.
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I agree! I feel like it's the logical thing to do. Further, critics are behaving as if love is finite. She can love her husband and kids a ton; she just happens to love her husband a bit more. I don't see what's wrong with that.
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I see this attitude with my evangelical Christian friends a lot. They are taught that a man is more important than their children. Then the children grow up & have behavioral problems. And they don't understand why. Children know that you chose a man over them & they rebel.
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I see a lot of liberal mothers prioritising their kids needs above their own, they are having trouble letting those children grow up and live their own lives. Those kids end up having behavioural problems also. It’s important for kids to know their parents love each other .
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I hope my parents feel the same way. I live near my parents, but don't see or even talk to them daily. They chose each other and get the joy of being with the person they love the most every day. It doesn't mean they don't love me, but it does mean I can live my life as well.
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She is most probably a better mum than all those who gunned for her put together. Children need parents in love with each other.
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it was amazing that she wrote that. I've actually never met a single parent that feels like that, or admits to it. But it's OK to feel like that.
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Maybe her children love someone else now more than they love her. That's what happens...
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I love my wife more than I love my children. I love my wife more than anything. My wife is my soulmate and partner in this life, my children and grandchildren carry on this love, and in turn hopefully share it with their soulmate.
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Can she give us an exact measure of her love for each of the persons around her? Maybe there are distinctions also for each of the children. How much is that? And in total, how much available love does she have ?
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This is a hard one. Obviously you'd love both your husband and kids, but I feel that logically, you should love your kids a little bit more, as they are your own flesh and blood, and they were not chosen, like you chose your husband, but gifted to you.
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A HUBAND AND WIFE ARE ONE!?THEN THE CHILDREN COME A VERY VERY CLOSE SECOND???
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