This is what the @nytimes has become?
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Quidditch. Because you know...
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archery, bc even though I'd certainly lose I know I could at least hit the target. Thanks dad, RIP.
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Running away....I'd fail as I trip over very easily
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if I wanted to fail miserably, I would be the
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Golf. Because you can't play tennis with a beer.
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archery...my arm pull for arrows, robin hooding or using a traditional bow
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they would just have to add
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Curling, because I can still be in the same bad shape I'm in now
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Ski jumping...the spectacle and then, "the agony of defeat"!
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Donald Trump: The Big Dick pole vault. I'd be disqualified for having the wrong equipment.
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Achery, who shot the official?
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Diving of course....CANNONBALL!!!followed by atomic wedgie
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rhythmic gymnastics
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would be the sport of winning, and I would claim to be a gay black Muslim who identifies as a woman so all the world would love me
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weightlifting. I can't even carry my phone around
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