Josh Madison

@nosidam

Importer/exporter at Vandelay Partners. Coffee is for closers. I know guac’s a little extra, and I’m OK with that.

New York, NY, USA, Earth
Joined January 2007

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  1. Apr 17
    Undo
  2. Apr 10

    Someone just tried to deliver a pizza to my apt, but I didn’t order it. Address was right, apt was right, but I’m not Emily. Thought about taking it. It smelled great.

    Undo
  3. Retweeted
    Apr 8

    guy at this karaoke bar in a full suit and studded coke white boots just dedicated his song to “the most important first responders in New York” and proceeded to do ghostbusters

    Show this thread
    Undo
  4. Retweeted
    Mar 27

    Some people got to watch the moon landing. We got to watch the 2022 Oscars.

    Undo
  5. Mar 10

    Announcement on subway: “Listen up to this announcement because supervision came up with a brainstorm this morning…”

    Undo
  6. Feb 10

    I’m more than bothered by the use of “indirect” and the capital O in “DO”.

    Undo
  7. Feb 6

    On phone with woman friend and she’s telling me a story. I’m completely silent while she’s telling the story. After a few minutes of the story she says, “Are you still there? Why are you being so annoying?” 🤷🏻‍♂️

    Undo
  8. Feb 5

    USPS: Your package will be delivered by 1:45pm. Me (without package at 2pm): *checks website* USPS: Your package will be delivered by 9pm. Your package was always going to be delivered at 9pm. Your package was never going to be delivered by 1:45pm.

    Undo
  9. Feb 1

    Hot take: Pepperidge Farm pizza goldfish do not taste like pizza...or goldfish.

    Undo
  10. Retweeted
    Jan 27

    ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️🟫🟫🟫⬜️⬜️⬜️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬜️ ⬜️🟫🟫🟫⬜️🟫⬛️⬛️⬛️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️🟫🟫🟫🟫⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 𝒞𝑒𝒸𝒾 𝓃’𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝓅𝒶𝓈 𝓊𝓃𝑒 𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓁𝑒

    Undo
  11. Jan 24

    I have come to the conclusion that I will never spell “warrantee” or “vacuum” correctly without an assist from autocorrect, and I’m OK with that.

    Undo
  12. Jan 14

    Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do!

    Undo
  13. Jan 13

    Whew! Wordle 208 6/6 🟩⬜⬜⬜🟩 🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    Undo
  14. Jan 8

    Ain’t that a pisser? Wordle 203 5/6 🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟩⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    Undo
  15. Jan 7

    Balcony snowman!

    Undo
  16. Jan 5

    Wordle 200 3/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ ⬜⬜🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

    Undo
  17. Jan 4

    Just a reminder that 1980 C-3PO and R2-D2 visited Sesame Street. They played games and sang songs, and Artoo fell in love with a fire hydrant.

    Undo
  18. 24 Dec 2021

    “Well, Gail, by this time the hostages should be going through the early stages of the Helsinki Syndrome.” “As in Helsinki, Sweden.” “Finland.”

    Undo
  19. 19 Dec 2021

    What even is the point of the first fast forward speed on a DVR?

    Undo
  20. 4 Dec 2021

    Preheating is foreplay for ovens.

    Undo

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