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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. sij 2018.

    Been prototyping this diet lately: 1pm: 1 small orange 4pm: 1 bowl of grain based substance 9pm: 1400-calorie junk food "chaos meal" You don't gain any weight and you're tired all the time. It's win win

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. lis 2018.

    How Couples Argue Today: Wife: cool how theres 4 mustards in the fridge in 2018 and none go with my sandwich. Normal World Husband: wow its almost like those are my dipping mustards and arent meant to go on sandwiches????????? but ok go off

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    10. stu 2019.

    No other textbook, and possibly no other book, will ever have a better opening paragraph than Goodstein's "States of Matter":

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    She woke up and looked in the mirror. Nice - boobs, the perfect size. She was 5'7'' and normal. The light cascaded through the blinds and went into her PhD certificate. She was hot as fuck. But not to hot

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    Odgovor korisniku/ci
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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    Odgovor korisniku/ci
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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij
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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    walked by a coworker’s desk and he just had a costco hot dog on his screen zoomed in at like 600%

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    Lord knows I wasn't supposed to hit this Kobe crossover to a 1 yr old so I paid for it at the end 😂😂😂

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. ruj 2018.

    Prosecutor: You smoke good, correct? Me: yes. P: fire? Me: No -- reggie. Nothing above mids. P: Can you explain this tweet then from September 5th: "I am absolutely gone off that loud" ? M: I consider mids loud. I get fully destroyed off half a hit of that booty shit. P: I see.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. kol 2019.

    (48 minutes into MAGA rally) Mark Twain, very smart guy. Brilliant guy. It’s right there on the page. It says, N-word Jim. Very nasty, but its in the book. I can't say it (looks back) we can't say it… (cheering). Should we say it? I don’t know.. (cheering intensifies)

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. srp 2019.

    Still one of the funniest headlines of all-time. Look at this moist boy.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. ožu 2018.

    🚨🚨MY AUNT IS MISSING!!!! 🚨🚨 SANTA FE AREA, LAST SEEN THURSDAY 3/29 AT TRADER JOE’S. IT ONLY TAKES A SECOND TO RETWEET!!!!! WE LOVE YOU ❤️❤️❤️

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. ožu 2017.

    I've been online so long that when anything happens I can instantly see the takes and counter-takes that will happen like The Matrix code

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    (Getting pulled over) cop fucking corrupt racist piggy oink oink donut bitch (Officer approaches my window) Hello King, May I Suck Your Dick

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. sij
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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij

    writing my Latino novel: "We fled late in the night, or /la noche/ as Mami calls it. I'm always embarrassed when Mami says shit like that, but I forgive her because she's one of eleven kids and is from /el barrio./ Anyway it was late at night, and Yolanda Saldivar was chasing us-

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. pro 2019.
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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. pro 2019.

    On the one hand rupi kaur sucks shit on the other MFA students will never be as successful as her and it makes them insanely jealous so im torn

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