texting all my male friends like “i know you were a perfect angel child prodigy who was at mit when you were 14 BUT TEACH ME HOW TO TALK TO HIM”
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just realized I’m the least qualified person to worry about him getting into college bc literally everyone I know dropped out of school but w/e
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depends on what you mean by "it"? a lot of the possible options either get worse or get buried under layers of suppression that don't actually fix the problem
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I feel like he’s passive & doesn’t really think the future is “real” and externalizes all his problems (parents’ fault, teachers’ fault, etc) and I don’t know how to encourage him to “take agency” (by which I just mean... think about what you enjoy & move towards it)
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i think when they hit 25
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in nyc, 35
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powerful thing you can do is ask him honest, non-judgemental questions from a place of genuine curiosity
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Is this *not* your approach to any situation?
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Been doing this for a decade. I’m still bad.
1) listen first, out of “teaching” stance. Teenage males don’t have people listening to them. They also clam when judged since they are hedgehoggy. You’re privileged to be one of the few people they can open up to, so keep it open. -
2) it’s reaaaally bad to teach agency w/o examples and also bad to compare them vs examples (fragile egos). One way out of the dilemma is asking “so who do you like / respect?” may help seed discussion, since they direct themselves to examples.
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