dating advice should be centered less around signaling self-sufficiency/coolness and more abt “what should we talk about to figure out whether we can remain both emotionally exciting and emotionally reliable to each other in a world of near-unlimited optionality”
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Agree! John Gottman’s 8 dates is right up this alley! He writes about having convos about trust, money, dreams etc with your partner and understanding long term compatibility (and how to work on it, if you want to)
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narrow or nonexistent optionality in almost every sense is a bigger problem. two people should confront first whether they will be able to stand one another when they discover that they'll both be locked down even in fundamental areas, like where they can live. unless theyre rich
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damn i was just going to recommend some good polyamory books
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Dating apps has ruined the ability of people having meaningful dates. Now its just a numbers game.
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