it’s clearly better to interact with people like they’re just cool human beings with no expectations they’ll meet particular needs vs interacting with them specifically hoping they’ll meet your needs. but how do you teach people to not do the latter when they have unmet needs?
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I think one good framing is to 1) acknowledge your needs are good and not shameful and it’s ok to ask for them upfront but 2) if you decide not to ask directly, assume they’re not going to be met & don’t try to angle for them
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basically “worry about what you put into it, not what you get out of it.” (also these things are nuanced and this is a very simplistic framework so YMMV, but in general I find I can be way more present when I have fewer expectations)
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