I think one good framing is to 1) acknowledge your needs are good and not shameful and it’s ok to ask for them upfront but 2) if you decide not to ask directly, assume they’re not going to be met & don’t try to angle for them
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basically “worry about what you put into it, not what you get out of it.” (also these things are nuanced and this is a very simplistic framework so YMMV, but in general I find I can be way more present when I have fewer expectations)
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Pretend to be a kid in a playground "Wanna play square ball?"
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I don't think you can teach them unless they want to learn from you specifically, so I would put this in the 'not my problem' bucket.
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that's a really good question. Maybe by concentrating on how to meet their needs instead of one's own? Maybe approach it like meditation. You'll interact, thoughts of your own needs will surface, and you'll consciously redirect to x, where x is anything else. Rinse and repeat.
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Is this an issue? I've never expected anything from any existing or new relationships other than to be my best self to them and vice versa. Be supportive if they need help or assistance.
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Don’t think so much
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The key here is "hoping." If the unmet item of concern is truly a need and not just a want, then they stand to be respectfully assertive in their search. And we all stand to more proactively recognize unmet needs in ourselves and others. Foster independence and understanding.
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Would that imply that people with many friends/extroverts just have more needs than others? And vice versa with people with very few friends? This sounds like a horrible concept but one that is more subconscious for many people.
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