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noampomsky's profile
Ava
Ava
Ava
@noampomsky

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Ava

@noampomsky

bookbear

Joined March 2015

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    Ava‏ @noampomsky Mar 1
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    it’s clearly better to interact with people like they’re just cool human beings with no expectations they’ll meet particular needs vs interacting with them specifically hoping they’ll meet your needs. but how do you teach people to not do the latter when they have unmet needs?

    12:14 PM - 1 Mar 2020
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    8 replies 8 retweets 160 likes
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      2. Ava‏ @noampomsky Mar 1
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        I think one good framing is to 1) acknowledge your needs are good and not shameful and it’s ok to ask for them upfront but 2) if you decide not to ask directly, assume they’re not going to be met & don’t try to angle for them

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      3. Ava‏ @noampomsky Mar 1
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        basically “worry about what you put into it, not what you get out of it.” (also these things are nuanced and this is a very simplistic framework so YMMV, but in general I find I can be way more present when I have fewer expectations)

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      4. End of conversation
      1. Financial Orchid 🌸點心奇遇記‏ @finance_orchid Mar 1
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        Pretend to be a kid in a playground "Wanna play square ball?"

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Nick Yuan‏ @Nick_Yawn Mar 1
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        I don't think you can teach them unless they want to learn from you specifically, so I would put this in the 'not my problem' bucket.

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      1. Joshua Mitchell‏ @JoshuaLelon Mar 1
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        that's a really good question. Maybe by concentrating on how to meet their needs instead of one's own? Maybe approach it like meditation. You'll interact, thoughts of your own needs will surface, and you'll consciously redirect to x, where x is anything else. Rinse and repeat.

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      1. Matthew Mansfield‏ @drunkengrass Mar 1
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        Is this an issue? I've never expected anything from any existing or new relationships other than to be my best self to them and vice versa. Be supportive if they need help or assistance.

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      1. Paul Lewis‏ @paulalexlewis Mar 1
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        Don’t think so much 😂

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      1. Hayden Jackson‏ @cloudprism_ Mar 1
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        The key here is "hoping." If the unmet item of concern is truly a need and not just a want, then they stand to be respectfully assertive in their search. And we all stand to more proactively recognize unmet needs in ourselves and others. Foster independence and understanding.🙂

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      1. NezClay‏ @PucciElGrande Mar 1
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        Would that imply that people with many friends/extroverts just have more needs than others? And vice versa with people with very few friends? This sounds like a horrible concept but one that is more subconscious for many people.

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