does anyone have good theories about why visible bitterness in any context is usually a turnoff (even if the person has every right to be bitter)?
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maybe because it implies someone is upset and willing to give up (as opposed to change the situation).... which is not great from an evolutionary perspective
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Compulsory positivity being the ideal affective tonality for pyschopolitical production of imperial subjects. The total, totalizing tyranny which demands this from oneself also always-already demands one to demand it from others.
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In this way the distance between dominators and dominated converges asymptotically as cybernetic societies of control deepen and expand. Everyone will have to be their own thermostat-cop before anything else.
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My guess is that bitterness seems to come from some form of defeat. Which is different than failure or offense. Even if it’s unfair. Maybe. It’s a great question though.
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Passive Agressive form of anger
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I would guess because we instinctively fear that they will eventually feel the same way towards us if we make a mistake and that the idea that someone will "hold a grudge" against us rather than forgiving us for our human parts makes a relationship (in any form) less worthwhile
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In my experience, people tend to see you as a product out of many to choose from. They would rather choose a product that leads to a good times, rather than one that's emotionally draining. That's why it's not a good idea to ask from emotional support from people you just met.
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And that's also why being constantly bitter can make you lose close friends
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Evolutionary bias towards being around people with high emotional regulation
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(pulled that out of my ass)
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