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noampomsky's profile
Ava
Ava
Ava
@noampomsky

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Ava

@noampomsky

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    Ava‏ @noampomsky Feb 21
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    does anyone have good theories about why visible bitterness in any context is usually a turnoff (even if the person has every right to be bitter)?

    11:27 AM - 21 Feb 2020
    • 11 Retweets
    • 174 Likes
    • Arya McCarthy Philip Bosch Zwickau allison t A Day On Venus bibek Kianchong Mishaal Al Gergawi Andy M
    43 replies 11 retweets 174 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Ava‏ @noampomsky Feb 21
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        it seems distinct from (though adjacent to) anger/outrage and I’m not sure why. closer to resentment maybe?

        2 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
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      3. Ava‏ @noampomsky Feb 21
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        (to be clear I’m definitely not saying being bitter is bad or that I condemn it, just that my gut reaction when I see it is usually “oh that’s unpleasant,” I’ve noticed the same response in other people, and I’m not sure why. I think I react the same to it in men + women)

        8 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
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      4. End of conversation
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      2. Afif Nass‏ @afifnass Feb 21
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        It implies inadequacy, repudiation, and weakness. Someone who’s well-adjusted and valuable to society has no reason to be bitter.

        1 reply 1 retweet 24 likes
      3. Matt‏ @mattsmethods Feb 21
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        Replying to @afifnass @noampomsky

        I like this. Bitterness, however justified, is a sign that you’ve been bested by your situation. Winners have no time for bitterness - they’re too busy solving whatever the problem is.

        1 reply 1 retweet 25 likes
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      2. Dark Scar‏Verified account @bobbyscar Feb 21
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        When you think of bitterness, does it mean that someone is acting angry and self-righteous and also defeated at the same time? For whatever reason visibly bitter people get me curious. I want to dig in! It's great if they're willing to share and reflect

        5 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
      3. EscalatorBoy (Dean Morrison)  🌾‏ @EscalatorBoy Feb 21
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        Replying to @bobbyscar @noampomsky

        I have some experience on both sides of this, and usually I think the turnoff is the abdication of responsibly that comes with it. It's a combination of self righteousness, defeat, and -crucially- the expression of a desire for vicarious redemption.

        0 replies 1 retweet 11 likes
      4. End of conversation
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      2. JD Ross‏ @justindross Feb 21
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        internal vs external locus of control

        1 reply 0 retweets 35 likes
      3. Burak Nehbit‏ @nehbit Feb 21
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        Replying to @justindross @noampomsky

        This ^ is the direct, one-word answer.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
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      2. Jason Crawford‏ @jasoncrawford Feb 22
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        Replying to @noampomsky

        Bitterness = anger + helplessness. Someone has done you an injustice, but you can't do anything about it, can't fight back or fix it, can't even get revenge. It's a dead end that someone should move on from as soon as they are able. And it's hard to help or even commiserate.

        2 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
      3. Alex Tabarrok‏ @ATabarrok Feb 22
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        Replying to @jasoncrawford @noampomsky

        Good analysis and note how much we love revenge stories (anger+power).

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      4. End of conversation

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