it seems distinct from (though adjacent to) anger/outrage and I’m not sure why. closer to resentment maybe?
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(to be clear I’m definitely not saying being bitter is bad or that I condemn it, just that my gut reaction when I see it is usually “oh that’s unpleasant,” I’ve noticed the same response in other people, and I’m not sure why. I think I react the same to it in men + women)
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It implies inadequacy, repudiation, and weakness. Someone who’s well-adjusted and valuable to society has no reason to be bitter.
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I like this. Bitterness, however justified, is a sign that you’ve been bested by your situation. Winners have no time for bitterness - they’re too busy solving whatever the problem is.
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When you think of bitterness, does it mean that someone is acting angry and self-righteous and also defeated at the same time? For whatever reason visibly bitter people get me curious. I want to dig in! It's great if they're willing to share and reflect
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I have some experience on both sides of this, and usually I think the turnoff is the abdication of responsibly that comes with it. It's a combination of self righteousness, defeat, and -crucially- the expression of a desire for vicarious redemption.
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internal vs external locus of control
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This ^ is the direct, one-word answer.
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Bitterness = anger + helplessness. Someone has done you an injustice, but you can't do anything about it, can't fight back or fix it, can't even get revenge. It's a dead end that someone should move on from as soon as they are able. And it's hard to help or even commiserate.
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Good analysis and note how much we love revenge stories (anger+power).
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