if you see rejection as less personal you’ll understand that though most people hope to be considerate and communicative they sometimes are not and that’s a failure but it’s also not the end of the world and all there is to do in response is to move on
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I've been reflecting on just this! Like, we're only allowed to end things formally when there's some kind of implicit or explicit contract involved - as in work, or sex. But I have had a couple of friendship breakups in my life - at least twice I was "dumped", I also ended some.
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I don’t understand the need to “end” something, unless some violation of values. Each friendship might just have its own unique cadence. In what context do you feel the need for a formal “end”?
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I typically call them in for a face-to-face meeting which winds up like an exit interview where I hand them a copy of the NDA they signed at the beginning of our friendship and remind them of their commitment to privacy. then I wish them well and tell them to clear their desk.
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it’s really really hard to figure out whether a “soft no” just means the person is oversubscribed, introverted, and/or flaky or something deeper. I’m not one to read into things too much, so I don’t think I’d ever consider that a “no” means “no for probably forever”
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I have a friend going through this right now with her roommate who wants to be friends, but my friend doesn't. Tries to keep giving hints, but they're not received. Even tougher of a situation since they live together.
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The protocol also depends on whether the friendship originated online and stayed online; or originated in rl, then went online; or originated online, then went rl, then back online etc Also I think we’re moving away from notions of consistent presence to contextual presence
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lol in what situation would one wind down a friendship?
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I’m a believer in closure if it’s a real end. Transparency means there aren’t insecurities. Friendships shouldn’t be insecure.
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