a friend who's a therapist told me: we learn our definition of a "good" person from our parents, as well as a "normal" relationship
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I think comedy is the escape hatch
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So hard to not take yourself too srsly, but being able to laugh at yourself and forgive your own (and another’s) primordial tendencies is the hidden key. If you and your partner share this, it’s like upgrading from the free version of life
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Keeping the Love You Find by Harville Hendrix explains this phenomenon in a way I hadn’t previously considered.
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preach

I found it a terrifying realisation!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Is this a recurrent pattern in human behavior in relationships?
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I heard this when I was young, but didn’t believe it could be true - yet it happened, and it is now abundantly clear my wife is just like my mother.
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Or, until we learn what it takes to move beyond old patterns, and be at more choice in relationships. If someone wants a re-play of the same trauma / dynamics, cool. I’ll look at how I’ve attracted / repeated those patterns and do something different to find my way out.
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This is terrifyingly depressive. Hopefully we can all learn to find better relationships for us...
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This is very interesting. I believe it is at least partially true. But I also wonder if it should be in part explained by distortions of perception? You notice things from your past more readily than other stuff. I mean something a bit similar to confirmation bias.
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