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nkjemisin's profile
N. K. Jemisin
N. K. Jemisin
N. K. Jemisin
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@nkjemisin

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N. K. JemisinVerified account

@nkjemisin

Award-winning bestselling SFF writer & reviewer. I use robust autoblockers due to harassment. They catch some friendlies. Unavoidable; sorry. She/her.

nkjemisin.com
Joined December 2008

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    N. K. Jemisin‏Verified account @nkjemisin 13 Jan 2020

    N. K. Jemisin Retweeted Christianity Today

    Never. NEVER. Oh my God. Forgiveness needs to be a choice on the survivor's part that they come to on their own -- and which they might not do, ever. You cannot *pressure* ppl into it without furthering the harm that's been done; to try is *wrong.* CW for abuse apologism.https://twitter.com/CTmagazine/status/1216734361745272833 …

    N. K. Jemisin added,

    Christianity TodayVerified account @CTmagazine
    When, if ever, should Christian counselors encourage abuse survivors to reconcile with their abuser? How can Christian counselors—whether vocational or pastoral—ensure that promoting forgiveness leads to healing rather than perpetuating violence? https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/december/when-restoration-hurts-christian-counseling-abuse.html …
    11:57 AM - 13 Jan 2020
    • 305 Retweets
    • 2,115 Likes
    • Chiaramonti’s confused ghost GrahamM Kimberley Isbell Ankeborgs boende🏳️‍🌈📎 Hanna Pack Micha H. Laiel "Kasha" Shepherd Varzy! (((Cathy Fiorello)))
    29 replies 305 retweets 2,115 likes
      1. N. K. Jemisin‏Verified account @nkjemisin 13 Jan 2020

        We are a culture that's way too obsessed with forgiveness. We want the relief of absolution, the peace of settled conflict, without being willing to do the work of repair and protection. No. No. This is societally unjust -- and counseling-wise, it's unethical and harmful as hell.

        23 replies 118 retweets 897 likes
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      1. Caias Ward is looking for an agent‏ @caias 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        As someone who was expected to do just this, and then attacked when I refused... Nope.

        0 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
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      1. Dani is busy writing 👩🏾‍💻 📚‏ @lesserknownhero 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        Thank you! So many people have told me that /pressured me about I need to forgive my late father for the physical, mental, and emotional abuse of my childhood and tbh I don't want to. Maybe one day but for now F him

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
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      1. Mina Li‏ @CodenameMinaLi 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        Yes, thank you! This is what I wanted to say, but 100 times better.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Laurence Raphael Brothers‏ @lbrothers 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        Absolutely. An abuse survivor should never see their abuser again if possible, much less feel someone else's evil pressure to forgive them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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      2. KM "1 billion antibodies in a trenchcoat" Krone‏ @KMKrone_writes 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        Forgiveness =/= reconciliation. Forgiveness is supposed to be about letting go of your bad feelings, not about going back to the way things were and trusting that someone else changed because of the work YOU did.

        1 reply 0 retweets 19 likes
      3. Sarah  📚 🐈‍⬛ ☕ 🧵 🎮 🐉‏ @sosomanysarahs 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @KMKrone_writes @nkjemisin

        That works for some people, but I don't think it's necessary or reasonable to ask all victims to do that. There are people who choose to remain angry at harm and injustice but to create some separation so it doesn't dictate other aspects of their lives.

        1 reply 0 retweets 32 likes
      4. Show replies
      1. Lise Horton Writes Romance‏ @lisekimhorton 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        This is an issue of psychological severity and should NEVER be even broached with a victim. Ever.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. greenerprairieadventures‏ @Greenerprairie 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        Christians are so off their rockers today that I don’t want to associate with them. It’s almost as if it makes you less moral. WAIT.... Does Christianity make you less moral?

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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      1. SurvivorsUprising‏ @vagendaqueen 13 Jan 2020
        Replying to @nkjemisin

        Yeah I’m not forgiving the guy who preyed on me when I was at my most vulnerable and then repeatedly raped me. Nope. Not gonna do that. I will find healing, I’m working hard on it, but forgiving him is completely unnecessary for that to happen.

        0 replies 2 retweets 34 likes
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