I want to die every time I read one of your tweets and honestly it's the most alive I've ever felt, thanks, dad.
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bruh this is a v good tweet
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If everything works out right my funeral will be held at an Arby's.
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I hope mine is a t a Chinese buffet
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frankly I consider your post optimistic, I'm doubtful any of them would bother showing.
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Why not just hold the funeral at arby's.
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No one's coming to my funeral, tho.
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Twitter will be there!
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I'm not quite sure how that would work, but it's a nice thought.
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No more dark thoughts like that!
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are they really dark if they're true, tho?

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Well, true. We'll all be uncaring worm food someday.
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@benshapiro Remember what Yogi Berra said "If you don't go to their funeral, they won't go to yours."Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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That's not true. I now detest most of the people I've ever loved. And Five Guys is better for wakes.
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no one has to go to any funerals if you're in a suicide pactpic.twitter.com/luM8UuQJUq
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Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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you sincerely overestimate their willingness to travel...
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#fakenews What if you die in a flaming nuclear holocaust together? Nobody gets to go to our planet's funeral. :( - End of conversation
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