I love this one especially
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I'm trying to starve to death, but my family keeps making me eat food.
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this was me with three 50-foot garden hoses like 10 mins ago
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@Megankrempafans
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yeah, right. I'll believe that when I see it.
End of conversation
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You're like the father I never wanted, but you're doing a fine job at making me accept my worthlessness. Like my real dad.
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I happen to be unusually good at untangling cords.
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It puts the cords around it's neck...
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it's that easy?
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