Nick Ortolani

@nickortolani

The Champagne of Beers of Comedy | '17| '15 '17 | Written for & | Future Aflac Duck | Affordable

somerville, ma
nickortolani.com
Joined July 2011
350 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

You blocked @nickortolani

Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @nickortolani

  1. Pinned Tweet
    14 Feb 2017

    Betsy DeVos should take a page from Ruby Bridges' book and actually walk into a school

    19 replies 347 retweets 1,711 likes
    Undo
  2. 14 hours ago

    Rand Paul on 9/11 victims fund: Our defecit is simply too big to continue to pay for 9/11 victims Rand Paul on Trump Tax Cuts:

    3 retweets 6 likes
    Undo
  3. 14 hours ago

    Make no mistake. Blowhards like Tom Friedman, who constantly harangue voters to appeal to moderates & republicans with whom they do not share values, would rather have 4 more years of Trump cuz, at the end of the day, they have no skin in the game save for precious little shame

    "Please, spare me the revolution! It can wait. Win the presidency, hold the House and narrow the spread in the Senate, and a lot of good things still can be accomplished," writes.
    1 retweet 1 like
    Undo
  4. 19 hours ago

    Hello hi just reiterating that we're gonna continue to hear weak kneed pieces like this that urge progressives to be "reasonable." Establishment libs would rather you abandon your principles to win minimal votes from embarassed republicans than encourage disenfranchised nonvoters

    My column: ‘Trump’s Going to Get Re-elected, Isn’t He?’
    1 like
    Undo
  5. 19 hours ago

    Very nice of Eric Trump to take time out of his busy schedule of floating near a volcanic vent in the deep sea

    1 like
    Undo
  6. 21 hours ago

    The bots have really shown up for Scherie Murray which kinda tells you all you need to know about her. And about how the owners of the bot farms feel about

    10 replies 21 retweets 65 likes
    Undo
  7. Retweeted
    Jul 16

    Thank you Nintendo for creating Super Mario Maker 2 in order to provide an outlet for our nation’s most sadistic preteens

    6 retweets 29 likes
    Undo
  8. Jul 16

    Alright, real funny FaceApp

    3 likes
    Undo
  9. Jul 16

    If Woodrow Wilson were alive today, he'd be really grossly old like we'd all freak out and be like "How is that 182 year old man still alive he looks like it hurts to breathe oh my god a huge chunk of his skin just fell off" and also he'd sill be pretty racist

    2 likes
    Undo
  10. Jul 16

    It's crazy Grimes removed part of her eyeball to help cure her depression when she could have just stopped dating Elon Musk

    1 reply 1 retweet 9 likes
    Undo
  11. Retweeted
    Jul 16

    Hey Congresswomen Liz Cheney when I was a little girl this commercial use to run. Have you seen it? "Don't be a sucker" was made by the war dept during WWII.

    The government made an anti-fascism film in 1943
    And it’s eerily similar to 2017
    129 replies 2,413 retweets 3,967 likes
    Show this thread
    Show this thread
    Undo
  12. Jul 16

    I had to Google what Yippy was

    Peter Thiel said Google should be investigated by the FBI & CIA for helping China! is a far superior search engine anyways.
    1 like
    Undo
  13. Jul 15

    Listen, I implore everyone to buy Names' album. It's one of my favorites of the past few years, if not ever.

    Incredibly fun to go back an remember all the versions of the bit!
    Show this thread
    2 replies 2 likes
    Undo
  14. Jul 15

    Scarlett Johansson saying she could play a tree is the "I don't care if you're purple" of white feminism

    1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
    Undo
  15. Jul 15

    Frankly, "go back where you came from" and "if you don't like it here you can leave" is such pedestrian racism from Trump. I don't know, I've just came to expect more creative lunch at this point.

    1 reply 1 like
    Undo
  16. Jul 15

    Funny how the old line "if you don't like it here, you can leave" never seems to apply to conservatives systematically dismantling our rights while stealing our money

    Undo
  17. Retweeted
    Jul 15

    It goes both ways! ACA is the law! If you don't like it, you can leave! Gay Marriage is the law! If you don't like it, you can leave! Abortion is legal! If you don't like it, you can leave!

    478 replies 15,548 retweets 66,340 likes
    Show this thread
    Show this thread
    Undo
  18. Retweeted
    Jul 15

    198) It’s not a competition. Your colleague’s success can only broaden the reach of our art form and make your’s more likely. Don’t concern yourself with being better than anyone. That’s not conducive to creativity. Just try to be DIFFERENT from everyone.

    20 replies 162 retweets 1,123 likes
    Undo
  19. Jul 15

    You should all be ashamed of taking Lindsey Graham away from his busy schedule as mayor of a town where jazz is illegal

    1 like
    Undo
  20. Jul 15

    Lindsey Graham's outrage is worth just slightly less than a fun shaped rock

    1 like
    Undo
  21. Retweeted
    Jul 14

    THIS is what racism looks like. WE are what democracy looks like. And we’re not going anywhere. Except back to DC to fight for the families you marginalize and vilify everyday.

    10,742 replies 31,030 retweets 142,533 likes
    Undo

@nickortolani hasn't Tweeted yet.

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

    You may also like

    ·