Nick Pavich

So hungry. Who wants tacos?

I want an owl.

I talked to Scratch Mag about writer's rights and my previous tweets. http://community.scratchmag.net/copyright-clauses-the-toast-and-a-contract-refresher/ …

"We are redoing the contracts"; "I apologize" for tweets - @TheToast publisher Nick Pavich http://community.scratchmag.net/copyright-clauses-the-toast-and-a-contract-refresher/ … cc @scalzi

Natalie please let me know their name and I will get them paid. To my knowledge, we have never not paid a writer.

You'll always have your dream journal, kittens. We can't take that from you.

@Nick_Pavich A box of excruciatingly expensive pears?

@Nick_Pavich artisanal dildos

Do you guys like flowers for the holiday? What else is a good gift for coworkers?

There are a lot of things worse than decapitation. Rectal rehydration springs to mind.

Like decapitating those pigeons and posing with the head would have been a kindness, man. That's empathetic at that point

I mean the shit our commenters did to pigeons as a species keeps me up at night. I wish they only decapitated those poor bastards.

I wonder about saying to advertisers "Dude you think that's bad? Look at this post about birds." Bottom of the barrel is just so subjective

@Nick_Pavich i will never forget. the vibrators post.

I mean, we have a post about Princess Bubblegum violating Marceline in the most unChristian of ways. That's kosher for them.

You can't feed people through their butts. That's just science people.

“@pantalonesfuego: @Nick_Pavich the world does not need to know about your dry bunghole, Nick.” WANTS AND NEEDS ARE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS