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neiltyson's profile
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Verified account
@neiltyson

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Neil deGrasse TysonVerified account

@neiltyson

Astrophysicist

New York City
haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/
Joined January 2009

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    Neil deGrasse Tyson‏Verified account @neiltyson 23 Jul 2017

    Geeky Humor: Photon checks into a hotel. Bellhop asks, "You have any luggage?" The Photon replies, "No, I'm traveling light!"

    4:10 PM - 23 Jul 2017
    • 24,380 Retweets
    • 84,912 Likes
    • Zubaer Ahmad Prakash jha Shawn Criselda Relly Karam Veer Kaysie moon raspa sardinez Eddie Fiona
    1,386 replies 24,380 retweets 84,912 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Phil Plait‏Verified account @BadAstronomer 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @neiltyson

        Phil Plait Retweeted Phil Plait

        Mine:https://twitter.com/BadAstronomer/status/550396243651072000 …

        Phil Plait added,

        Phil PlaitVerified account @BadAstronomer
        A quantum wavefront walks into a bar. It says to the bartender, "Man, I've been *everywhere* today!" and collapses.
        36 replies 152 retweets 1,120 likes
      3. Jeffrey Vagle‏Verified account @jvagle 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @BadAstronomer @neiltyson

        Two statisticians go hunting and see their prey. The first misses left by 5 ft. The second misses right by 5 ft. They exclaim: "We got it!"

        8 replies 130 retweets 598 likes
      4. BOBSON DUGNUTT‏ @BleepBlorpBlop 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @jvagle @BadAstronomer @neiltyson

        Good statistician would know that that's not enough data and to use medians instead of means

        7 replies 7 retweets 90 likes
      5. Max Power‏ @MaxPowerMtl 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @BleepBlorpBlop @jvagle and

        Nice try. The median would still be the mean in this case.

        1 reply 3 retweets 96 likes
      6. Bhavin J Solanki‏ @BhavinJSolanki 24 Jul 2017
        Replying to @MaxPowerMtl @BleepBlorpBlop and

        Good statistician would say - There isn't enough data & there is no need to summarise. We can announce both observations, i.e. they failed.

        1 reply 0 retweets 20 likes
      7. Melchizedek‏ @TheChiefServant 24 Jul 2017
        Replying to @BhavinJSolanki @MaxPowerMtl and

        PROOF http://bit.ly/1PHFext  that we r both particle&wave=SCIENTIFIC masturbation, while RELIGIOUS atrocities abound to sync them. How sad.pic.twitter.com/KDcIR2gMq3

        Sylvan Steve, Stringy Theories, Neil deGrasse Tyson and 4 others
        1. Sylvan Steve @SRTEng

        2. Stringy Theories @StringyTheories

        3. Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson

        4. Marilyn Schlitz, PhD @MarilynSchlitz

        5. Francis S. Collins @NIHDirector

        6. Dr Physics @SecretPhysicist

        7. BlackPhysicists @BlackPhysicists

        2 replies 1 retweet 5 likes
      8. Jesse‏ @jesseisgolfing 24 Jul 2017
        Replying to @TheChiefServant @BhavinJSolanki and

        Came for the physics dad-joke, left with PhD level in-jokes. 📊📈💯👌

        0 replies 1 retweet 15 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Peter‏ @PeterJohn501 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @neiltyson

        Argon walks into a bar, the bartender said "we don't serve your kind". Argon didn't react.

        12 replies 97 retweets 592 likes
      3. Pale Kate Durga 🐦 🌊 🌊 🌊 🐳 🐋‏ @KPotluru 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @PeterJohn501 @neiltyson

        Too noble for that.

        5 replies 24 retweets 385 likes
      4. Peter‏ @PeterJohn501 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @KPotluru @neiltyson

        Fantastic!

        2 replies 0 retweets 65 likes
      5. Pale Kate Durga 🐦 🌊 🌊 🌊 🐳 🐋‏ @KPotluru 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @PeterJohn501 @neiltyson

        😊 good set up.

        2 replies 0 retweets 45 likes
      6. Baby Bas‏ @BasWoods 24 Jul 2017
        Replying to @KPotluru @PeterJohn501 @neiltyson

        Thats a gas 🤦🏽

        1 reply 2 retweets 48 likes
      7. The Biscuit‏ @thebiscuit07 24 Jul 2017
        Replying to @BasWoods @KPotluru and

        Science humor for the win

        1 reply 1 retweet 23 likes
      8. Cat Gargoyle*‏ @CatGargoyle 24 Jul 2017
        Replying to @thebiscuit07 @BasWoods and

        This is making me crack up way more than it should. Still laughing.

        3 replies 1 retweet 23 likes
      9. Peter‏ @PeterJohn501 24 Jul 2017
        Replying to @CatGargoyle @thebiscuit07 and

        These are the best sorts of jokes there are, glad you're laughing

        3 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
      10. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Jennifer Worick‏ @Jennifer_Worick 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @neiltyson

        A buddhist monk walks into a pizza parlor and says, "I'll have one with everything."

        5 replies 13 retweets 100 likes
      3. Jonathan Pharis‏ @theJPharis 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @Jennifer_Worick @neiltyson

        I think you might mean, "Make me one with everything."

        1 reply 5 retweets 157 likes
      4. David “Spooky Jello” Conrad‏ @daiconrad 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @theJPharis @Jennifer_Worick @neiltyson

        Afterwards he asked why he didn't get any change back but the cashier told him, "Change must come from within."

        1 reply 12 retweets 274 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Dᴇᴀɴ‏ @SonOfAnder 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @neiltyson

        Ancient Roman walks into a bar. Holds up two fingers, says "five beers please."

        4 replies 51 retweets 230 likes
      3. M. Cotton‏ @_M_Cotton 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @SonOfAnder @neiltyson

        Then he ordered a martinus. And when the bartender asked "Don't you mean martini?" He said "If I wanted a double I would've asked for it!!!"

        1 reply 12 retweets 115 likes
      4. Dr. Susanne Eide‏ @SusanneEide1 23 Jul 2017
        Replying to @_M_Cotton @SonOfAnder @neiltyson

        I love that joke more than I probably should.

        2 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
      5. 1 more reply

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