Considering this is quite bleak, the replies and quote-tweets are pretty joyous!
Amazingly detailed cow-milking-analogies abound. 
Prikaži ovu nit
Cows make milk. They milk themselves.
Other cows check the milk (for free).
Cows - get this - PAY THE FARMER to take the milk away.
Then the farmer (you won't believe this, honestly) sells the milk *back to the cows.*
#academicpublishinghttps://twitter.com/DevilleSy/status/1216428583624855552 …
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Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi
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Okay there are SO many good replies to this but also Quote-Tweets which are harder to find, so I've pulled together some of the greatest cow-metaphor-extensions into one place here: https://www.ned-potter.com/blog/how-to-explain-academic-publishing-to-a-five-year-old …pic.twitter.com/4nkpJgZZ5k
Prikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi
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Sometime the farmer decides that the milk is super special secret milk. The farmer sells this back to the cow every year, with the price depending how many chickens live on the farm.
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This is art
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Farmers don't sell the milk they think is best, but the milk that was tried by the greatest number of other cows, no matter if they thought it was good or not. Also sometimes one cow will put its name on a younger cows milk, because it can.
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Omg this is so good
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Isn't it about time you did a mandatory ' this has blown up, check out my SoundCloud / I don't have a SoundCloud but...' tweet
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I do have a SoundCloud, I just think people should have to find it for themselves.
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You're missing the fact that the farmer puts the milk in really attractively designed bottles before he sells it back.
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And charges colour printing fees for this. (Also the cows need to buy the(ir) milk to continue being cows)
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Čini se da učitavanje traje već neko vrijeme.
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