Near

The honest truth is, I've been bullied, ridiculed, and humiliated my entire life. From my earliest grade school memories to now. It's always hurt me deeply enough that I can't describe it in words. I could only just tolerate it with heavy depression when it was 4chan.

But Kiwi Farms has made the harassment orders of magnitude worse. It's escalated from attacking me for being autistic, to attacking and doxing my friends, and trying to suicide bait another, just to get a reaction from me. I lost one of my best friends to this. I feel responsible

I can't handle this anymore. I have tried everything. I have taken every medication available. I have tried multiple therapists. I have tried closing myself off from the world. It doesn't help at all. Every night I am filled with panic attacks and dread and worry.

I have tried changing in every way possible as they wanted me to in order to get this to stop, but it just never does. Every few months, it's something new. A new dox, a new thread, a new tangent. It's too much to bear any longer.

I've always tried my best to be kind and helpful to everyone. And I didn't do anything wrong other than be weird online. Maybe a bit too passionate at times. Their horrific claims are entirely baseless. Still, if I've hurt or upset anyone, I'm really sorry for that.

The internet is not a game. It's real life. I'm a real person. This stuff really hurts. I poured my entire life into this. I have no real-life friends, I have no other reason for being. Only this. And now I have nothing.