Near

Thank you all so much for the kind messages. Please take care of yourselves. I love you all very much. Thank you for all your support over the years. It's been such an honor. I'll miss you all so much, but at least I can finally be at peace.

I would have kept going if Joshua Moon had shown me just the tiniest bit of compassion. But he chose not to. That's not on me, that's on him. That's on every last person who pushed me to this point and didn't let up. I never deserved any of this.

Please don't hate me for this. As much as I know it will cause some of you to suffer, please understand I was suffering far more. I'm sure some will try to play this off as my fault. But it's not. They didn't have to do this and they could have stopped any time, but chose not to.

Please don't remember me for this. Remember me for what I've done. For my work and dedication. Thank you all so much for your kindness and support over the years. I'm very sorry, but know that I love you all very much. Here's hoping there's something better awaiting.

It's too late for me, but I pray that someone, at some point, will do something about that website. There's too many people suffering, and no one seems to care because we are relative nobodies online, and they know that. Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.

The internet is not a game. It's real life. I'm a real person. This stuff really hurts. I poured my entire life into this. I have no real-life friends, I have no other reason for being. Only this. And now I have nothing.

I've always tried my best to be kind and helpful to everyone. And I didn't do anything wrong other than be weird online. Maybe a bit too passionate at times. Their horrific claims are entirely baseless. Still, if I've hurt or upset anyone, I'm really sorry for that.

I have tried changing in every way possible as they wanted me to in order to get this to stop, but it just never does. Every few months, it's something new. A new dox, a new thread, a new tangent. It's too much to bear any longer.

I can't handle this anymore. I have tried everything. I have taken every medication available. I have tried multiple therapists. I have tried closing myself off from the world. It doesn't help at all. Every night I am filled with panic attacks and dread and worry.

But Kiwi Farms has made the harassment orders of magnitude worse. It's escalated from attacking me for being autistic, to attacking and doxing my friends, and trying to suicide bait another, just to get a reaction from me. I lost one of my best friends to this. I feel responsible

The honest truth is, I've been bullied, ridiculed, and humiliated my entire life. From my earliest grade school memories to now. It's always hurt me deeply enough that I can't describe it in words. I could only just tolerate it with heavy depression when it was 4chan.