"rationalizing their own abuse" is how she termed it. people have a major investment in believing that the random misery their parents inflicted on them contributed to them becoming good people or kept them out of trouble.
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it's like hazing rituals. once you've been through it, you are eager to be part of the club, because otherwise all the pain was pointless bullshit.
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most people have affection for their parents and don't want to think they cause their kids harm or anxiety or unhappiness for no reason.
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My mother had a domestic violence abusing dad and yet he was the only parent who showed any love. A parent can be violent and be the only person who cares
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applying aftercare to abuse is still part of the abuse
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How old is said daughter? 30?
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she's 17. but extremely smart. memorizes large chunks of shakespeare for fun.
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Strongly agree. People also really don’t like to think about how vulnerable children are.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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This is actually one of the reasons I decided not to have children. I didn't want to be one of those people who (inadvertently?) passed on generational trauma and called it "discipline" or "love."
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There is actually substantial research that backs up what your daughter is talking about.
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