lovitz treasure island

@nbadag

ohhhh nooooooooooo

cartoon me by @JCFart
Vrijeme pridruživanja: prosinac 2011.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    7. kol 2015.

    bad news everyone: i'm still tweeting

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    every time an ex says my name in therapy, a crow lands on my shoulder

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  3. [through an empty toilet paper roll] caucus

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    ⚠️ serious post ⚠️ reply to this with your absolute all-time favorite dinner to cook at home. pics are great but not necessary! i may bug you for a recipe!!

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    Me when I stub my pinky toe

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 20 sati

    Is Mr. Peanut's cum creamy or chunky

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  7. prije 3 sata

    mitt romney has 2 large adult sons named bippo and chort. i refuse to google whether this is true

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. ožu 2016.

    I'll never salute you, you son of a bitch

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij 2019.

    When a football player points to the sky after a touchdown he's saying "That one's for you, international space station"

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  10. 2. velj

    yea i made a wholesome post. what are u gonna do about it, unfollow me (please don’t)

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    10. lis 2019.

    Bee Jesus: *handing out pretzel sticks* Take these and eat them, for they are my stinger

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  12. 2. velj

    there are no football teams named after food and to me that seems like a huge missed opportunity

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  13. 2. velj

    ⚠️ serious post ⚠️ reply to this with your absolute all-time favorite dinner to cook at home. pics are great but not necessary! i may bug you for a recipe!!

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. pro 2019.

    Don't give up on your dreams. Ten years ago I was broke and living with my parents. Now I live in a tent in my uncle's backyard.

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  15. 2. velj

    a mugger pulls a knife on me in the street but he has crossed paths with a master illusionist, & without warning a single white dove flies into his face, temporarily blinding him. he regains his composure & stabs me 4 times in the gut as i pose triumphantly

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  16. 2. velj

    [been on this website way to frickin long voice] !!! that's all, she's good. at the website. amen

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Any time I gotta drive a uhaul truck I act like I’m literally Zeus the rest of the day. I saved the fucking world by changing lanes as I drove a whole planet down the freeway, get out of my way-

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    why does everything orcs make always look like shit. where are their artisans

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  19. 2. velj

    me, walking through disneyland: not buying it. those chipmunks are way too fuckin big chip & dale: [ignore the kid they're teasing & start speed walking after me]

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    there's no way too know if a bear has a beard or not

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    Pineapples: they digest you back!

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