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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 18 sati

    Necromancer: I need a favor. Sorcerer: And you are ... ? Necromancer: I’m in your adventuring party. I see you literally EVERY DAY. Sorcerer: Sorcerer: Yes? Necromancer: I’m super into Taylor Swift & zombies. Sorcerer: Ah! Reverse Cleric, of course! What can I do for you?

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    This screenshot is from an episode where Lisa Simpson goes Washington and sees how petty and dysfunctional US political leaders are after witnessing one take a bribe, so she tears up her essay on what makes America great

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    There are only 6 kinds of tweet: 1. I feel drunk but I'm sober 2. I'm young and I'm underpaid 3. I'm tired but I'm working, yeah 4. I care but I'm restless 5. I'm here but I'm really gone 6. I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    bro deadass, so I was standing outside my workplace since we have an outside place in our restaurant and I see this white guy walking with his daughter and what he said fuckin broke me "Chinese rhymes with Disease" MANS SAID IT AS A NURSERY RHYME TO HIS 5 YR OLD DAUGHTER LMAOOO

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    I went to a job interview for Waffle House and one of the questions was "can you fight?

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    For years, California police officers come into court & testified as “gang experts.” But many of the ppl they convicted--all black and brown--were not in a gang. It was all made up. And the scandal is only getting bigger and worse.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    My partner talks in his sleep. Last night, he fell asleep rubbing my arm. He mumbled, “There’s a lot of dry rub on this steak.” I asked, “Is my body the steak?” He said, “Noo. Your body is never a mistake.”

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    [1776] America: We want the British out [1931] Australia: We want the British out [1947] India: We want the British out [2020] Britain: We want the British out

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I think democrats should skip the state of the union the way republicans skipped having witnesses.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Rush Limbaugh called a Georgetown student a "slut" and a "prostitute" because she advocated for the insurance coverage of birth control. Trump just gave him the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. sij

    running away to greece is ok. sleeping with 3 men in one summer is ok. not knowing which one of them is the father of ur daughter is ok. encountering the 3 of them at her wedding is ok. only communicating through abba songs is ok. do whatever u need to do to cope.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Australian TV is everything when I tell you I wasn’t expecting that. I screameddd 💀😭🤣

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    "i'm going to forget all of this and live a happy life"

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Deciding who gets the caucus votes with a game of Golden Eye, slappers only

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    2016-20: Every cyber expert in world says use paper and pencil for everything. 2019: Iowa Democratic Party: "Let me just throw something at you fellas: Have you heard of "Apps"? What if, now stick with me on this: An App... for Voting."

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    niggas wear vans to parties but won’t get off the wall to go socialize with people

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Folks, I know caucuses are complicated. A lot of room for error. So we’re going to solve it with the most reliable technology known to man: hastily-developed mobile apps

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    It took 16 years but this Onion story got it right

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    *Starts new job* Co-worker: Hello Me: How much was yo first check? 🧐😂

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