my mom asked me if I was a lesbian and I was like no way I love big fat cocks in my mouth and she still got upset
Pinned Tweet
805
1,846
36.2K
Follow
Sarah Beattie
@nachosarah
writer. comedy person. I hate your ex boyfriend. Sorry I meant mine. I have big tits
Michigan via HawaiiJoined September 2009
Sarah Beattie’s Tweets
checking the news to see the evacuation status for all the women in texas and praying the airport is still safe
146
709
8,591
please stop banning abortions the last thing the world needs is more americans
179
1,417
13.6K
if you aren’t depressed right now what the fuck is wrong with you
595
1,248
20.4K
I guess they were only kidding
Quote Tweet
OnlyFans reversed its decision to ban explicit content days after the move sparked backlash from creators who were beginning to leave the platform. nyti.ms/3BasRYn
162
64
2,669
I know it’s like where do we get our ideas from
Quote Tweet
Ha ha the new SUPERMAN vs LOBO has “anti-saver” idiots who are AGAINST Superman helping them.
63
435
6,045
holy shit guys superman vs lobo book one is out in stores today! it will slap your titties and turn your balls inside out! that sounds horrifying in retrospect but I’m standing by it!
130
116
3,333
guys this is finally coming out next week and my nipples are so fucking hard
Quote Tweet
Got my comps of SUPERMAN V LOBO 1 by me, @nachosarah & @Mirkand! Look at this big beautiful beast! It beats up all your old comics & takes the lunch money! Nice one @DCComics !
144
53
3,016
just survived a three day long power outage in insane weather and all I’m thinking about is will I still be able to get dick after the apocalypse
309
53
4,276
instead of anti-vaxxers let’s call them dumb bitches like sorry you can’t come to the party because you’re a dumb bitch
181
2,109
17.2K
have we tried putting the vaccine in coors light yet
547
1,519
16.2K
I might be a whore but at least I’m a vaccinated whore
303
365
12.1K
I hope bob odenkirk knows that when he has a heart attack all of us have one too
72
413
9,583
breaking news if you’re mad a gymnast doesn’t want to do flips for you anymore you should probably shut the fuck up
145
1,299
20.5K
the most ridiculous thing about superhero films is that the billionaires actually help
166
1,359
13.3K
Simon Bisley returns to Lobo with this Superman vs. Lobo #1 variant cover! The #DCBlackLabel miniseries by , , , and Arif Prianto starts August 24—here's a look inside: bit.ly/3iJaC4G
14
61
380
whoa just heard a rumor that getting the vaccine will make your dick enormous be careful out there guys
576
803
10K
just used the caption “pumped full of hot steaming vaccine” on my onlyfans and I think I’m doing great
81
103
5,546
hey guys instead of reporting my tweets about getting vaccinated how about you just get fucking vaccinated
150
346
12.8K
wait if health food is for your health then what is junk food for
218
281
4,443
if anyone’s terrified of commitment just date an anti-vaxxer they won’t be around for long
112
462
7,198
just get fucking vaccinated already you dumb motherfuckers jesus fucking christ
755
2,720
22K
guys who are too scared to get the vaccine also cry when they cum
376
469
7,478
surprise here’s the cover art for superman vs lobo 2 by and yes I jerked off to it. first book is out august 24th you guys get your dicks ready
51
70
1,886
You think Freddy Krueger ever jumped into the dreams of an extremely horny teen and was like, "Whoa, whoa, no thanks."
57
312
3,676
why is getting fucked a bad thing isn’t that what we’re all trying for
190
134
4,989
disney adults and marvel fans are the same thing send tweet
184
234
4,682
If you haven’t ordered SUPERMAN V LOBO 1 by me, and featuring the debut of , now’s the time to bug your comic store! Don’t miss all the things we probably shouldn’t have done.
33
110
1,046
if you’re a trump supporter and you accidentally blow your dick off today thank you
149
397
8,933
hey cancer I know we don’t get along but this guy got released from prison today and hear me out
63
243
6,272
when a guy tries to kiss me I'm like ok but I've had around 50 dicks in there
706
237
8,316
I love alcohol it takes your depression away and turns it into way more depression
317
842
15.7K
I would like to congratulate my ex's new wife on giving up orgasms
155
234
9,185
happy fathers day to all the dads I’ve blown thanks for the hugs
147
113
6,464
went outside today and didn’t get laid so I guess the vaccine is bullshit
181
223
6,688
good morning does batman eat pussy yet
420
204
5,870
well now I need to know if batman eats ass
419
482
7,783
I hope when the aliens finally show up they have titties
386
286
7,289
don’t worry a panic attack is just your body having a celebration over everything that could possibly go wrong
58
455
5,775
