Jared L.

@mustardgas74

If you're sad I can send you a picture of my dogs.

Michigan, U.S.A.
Vrijeme pridruživanja: travanj 2014.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    15. srp 2019.

    Perks of dating me: 1) You can pet my dog anytime you want. 2) I'm currently looking for a 2nd dog that you could also pet anytime you want. 3) That's it. That's the whole list. If anyone wants to confess their love for me after that exhaustive list hmu

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    i am not concerned with the sports. i am however. very concerned with the snacks associated

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    I would roast baby nut over an open fire made of baby groot’s corpse to nourish baby yoda if the opportunity presented itself

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Yet when teachers went to the Capitol to protest, their umbrellas were confiscated.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    Absolutely incredible

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Fuck I know how to use semicolons where can I trade this knowledge😰

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    Doctor: be healthy Me: why Doctor: so you can live longer Me: oh! No thank you :)

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    i don’t care when the human goes to bed. i would just like a forehead kiss. before they do

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. sij

    Not wearing glasses anymore. I’ve seen enough

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. sij

    Nice to get a refresher course on what really counts as cheating

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    sometimes. you have to cross your paws. and let everyone know. you’re feeling fancy

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. sij

    [traffic light turns green] gatsby: [under breath] fuck yea friend: what gatsby: [nervous] nothing lol friend: did u just fucking moan

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij

    imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they don’t know who ned schneebly is

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij

    i’m watching u ignore my tweets and i want u to know it hurts my feelings and i take it very personally

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij

    It was a cold & windy day. I was staring at the ripples on the river when it hit me; he would never love me back. The past 3 years had been a waste. Anyway, here’s my recipe for mouth assembled cracker sandwiches: -1 bite cracker -1 bite cheese -1 bite salami -chew until mashed

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    so i texted someone yesterday asking if something was wrong with our friendship/relationship (because i felt as though something was off), was left on read and today i'm blocked on twitter?? please learn how to communicate if you're in your 20's, not everything is a confrontation

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    Reminder that gun girl is only relevant because of the people talking shit about her and if you’d stop sharing her videos and quote tweeting her you’d cut off her income but instead you’re playing into exactly what she wants so please just block her and mute her name

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    gooooob morning. i would already like a hug

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    boomers can pronounce hallelujah perfectly but can’t say quesadilla

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    fuck it animal band 🎤🐛 🎸🦐 🎺🦕 🎷🐢 🐌🎻

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  21. 20. sij

    Guys only want one thing and it's disgusting. 😔😔😔

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