Daniel Morris

@MrDeeMoe

I like t-shirts and old movie theaters. I'm also very ticklish.

San Francisco
Joined January 2011
1 Photo or video Photos and videos

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  1. Retweeted
    28 Apr 2014

    Elaine’s BF notices she has no Instagrams with black people. She awkwardly tries to take pics w/ black co-workers to prove she’s not racist.

    86 replies 2,825 retweets 3,797 likes
  2. Retweeted
    24 Apr 2014

    First Football Team, University of Texas, 1893

    48 replies 532 retweets 620 likes
  3. Retweeted
    31 Mar 2014

    As he thought, Rockets guard Pat Beverley will not need surgery. Return at least a week away.

    13 replies 58 retweets 26 likes
  4. Retweeted
    22 Feb 2014

    All this technology is making us antisocial

    58 replies 2,459 retweets 1,701 likes
  5. Retweeted
    21 Feb 2014

    I don't know what to do about Bobby's new youth group. Last night he broke curfew, but he was reading his bible. What do you do with that?

    2 replies 211 retweets 174 likes
  6. Retweeted
    20 Feb 2014

    Uh, okay Bobby. God appreciates the support, but I'm sure he wouldn't want the pot roast gettin' cold. Let's wrap it up.

    2 replies 172 retweets 136 likes
  7. Retweeted
    16 Feb 2014

    Wow. Strippers get angry if you make it rain Bitcoins.

    333 replies 3,435 retweets 4,358 likes
  8. Retweeted
    1 Feb 2014

    Mattress with timed sideways automatic incline so one can literally roll out of bed.

    26 replies 190 retweets 148 likes
  9. Retweeted
    1 Feb 2014

    Boy those photos from our trip to the new hardware store sure turned out great.

    8 replies 213 retweets 167 likes
  10. Retweeted
    20 Jan 2014

    To quote Dr. Luther King, "I had another dream" to sell propane and propane accessories.

    12 replies 405 retweets 194 likes
  11. 28 May 2013
    Replying to

    My father would write quite the complaint letter if that escapade happened during his flight delay.

  12. 28 May 2013

    New wheels

    1 reply 1 like
  13. 1 May 2013
    Replying to

    You're wrong . It's not acceptable to eat half a cupcake.

  14. 9 Apr 2011

    I have unfriended on Facebook for accuracy reasons.

  15. 31 Mar 2011

    Gas stations are awesome because you can park wherever the hell you want.

  16. 29 Mar 2011

    Hello world

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