Connor

@mrconnorroberts

Bios, three-item lists, and serial commas

Vrijeme pridruživanja: srpanj 2014.

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  1. 31. sij

    You can lead a horse to water but if you teach him to fish he’ll never work a day in his life

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  2. 28. sij

    Debra posts something boring in the Slack channel. I reply with THE. PERFECT. GIF. It’s edgy yet appropriate. From a popular TV show. And it’s so friggin on point. Everyone rises from their open concept workstations. I am the boss now.

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  3. 22. sij

    The Circle Producers: We’re worried all the Philadelphia area references are too inaccessible EP: Fuck you, youse Main Line dickheads. Pass that jawn and get me a wiz wit from Genos. I’m going down the shore. WaWa. Wissahickon. Jimmies. Go Birds!

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  4. 19. sij

    I have found the SunnyD

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. pro 2019.

    We would have never existed if it weren't for this wonderful place. The dream is still alive as long as we continue making goofs and ha-ha's. RIP The Pocket Theater. Long live The Pocket Theater.

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  6. 16. pro 2019.

    When I get $3.50 for instructions and mom’s permission to use the vacuum, y’all are done

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    Failure is the meaning of life

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    The guy from at the fast food drive-thru

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  9. 3. pro 2019.

    *Intro to Alive plays* Eddie Vedder: Son, she says. Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?

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    Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard? Dad: *nudging me* were going to a party Me: what? Dad: it’s a birthday party, it’s your birthday party, happy birthday darling, we love you very very very much Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now Dad: 1-2-1234

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    1. stu 2019.

    Five years ago we performed our first show at the Pocket Theater. We’ll be performing our LAST SHOW at the Pocket Theater on November 15 at 10pm. Get your tix at the link in our bio.

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  12. 24. ruj 2019.

    I just took a DNA test turns out... I carry the BRCA 2 gene, increasing my risk of breast, pancreatic, and prostate cancer.

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  13. 17. ruj 2019.

    Anyone: How’s the weather? Me: Nice

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    14. ruj 2019.

    This is the pinnacle of comedy

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  15. 10. ruj 2019.

    Got fired for lying about finishing college. I said I had a bachelor’s degree, Karen. I never said which bachelor’s it was.

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    4. ruj 2019.

    Aspirational? Replace these books with hundreds of copies of Truth in Comedy and you’ve got the bed we ALREADY all sleep in together.

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  17. 29. kol 2019.

    This fall on Freeform: Van Helsing But Like...a Cop Sunday’s, 9pm

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  19. 22. kol 2019.

    You watch 1,347 bass covers, and suddenly that's all YouTube recommends

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  20. 20. kol 2019.

    Overheard a lot of weird stuff on the subway, but none weirder than, “Siri, play ‘Life is a Highway’ from the 2006 animated Disney film, Cars”

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