Michael Parker

@mparker2384

This is the unauthorized autobiography of mike parker

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Joined January 2012
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  1. Retweeted
    Jan 29

    I served in Iraq, as USAID’s man in Fallujah. Lived alongside Marines and interpreters as they fought terrorists. (1/many)

    959 replies 16,208 retweets 20,651 likes
  2. Retweeted
    24 Apr 2015

    Bruce Jenner is the first Kardashian woman I can tolerate.

    205 replies 8,654 retweets 13,617 likes
  3. Retweeted
    22 Nov 2014

    VIDEO: Harvard’s kicker is wearing glasses — normal glasses — vs. Yale

    688 replies 7,801 retweets 12,090 likes
  4. Retweeted
    16 Jun 2014

    The License Commission is trying to shut down under the radar. Speak Up Here:

    8 replies 37 retweets 13 likes
  5. 16 Jun 2014

    Adam Dunn = 486 strikeouts since beginning of 2012. Tony Gwynn = 434 strikeouts...over his entire 20 year career.

    2 likes
  6. 22 Mar 2014

    Barry p... Cuppah.

    1 like
  7. 22 Mar 2014

    St Louis is almost on pace for 30 points this game!!!

    3 likes
  8. 30 Nov 2013

    Trying to think of a reason why Nick Saban did that... Top candidate so far: He is a shareholder in ESPN Classic.

    1 retweet
  9. 13 Oct 2013

    Tom Brady looked completely average for 90% of that game.

  10. 19 Sep 2013

    is growing on me. Except the icons. Was there a competition to see how many tiny lines could go into the Safari and Settings icons?

    1 like
  11. 8 Aug 2013

    Dominique Davis is in the NFL??? Huh? well I guess that makes him the second best QB on the Falcons from BC

  12. Retweeted
    17 Jul 2013

    Don't forget to tweet your videos w/ to win some !

    6 retweets
  13. 1 Jun 2013

    Oh then he birdied 3 of the next 5. Damn.

    1 like
  14. 1 Jun 2013

    Tiger Woods shot 44 on the front 9 today, w 3 double bogeys.... I am Tiger Woods.

  15. 20 Apr 2013

    Somehow it felt way more socially acceptable with Big Papi's accent

  16. 20 Apr 2013

    That probably wasn't in the script.

  17. 19 Apr 2013

    Hell of a job by law enforcement. They encounter two suicidal-homicidal maniacs w bombs and automatic weapons. Still, no civilian deaths

  18. 12 Apr 2013

    Like a fine wine, Fred Couples gets better with age.

    1 retweet
  19. 14 Mar 2013

    Homework assignment due at 1:59pm today even though I don't have class. Why? It's 3/14, 1:59. only at MIT

    1 reply 1 like
  20. 1 Mar 2013

    Pretty sure I just saw Triple H at this hotel in Puerto Rico. He looks much less tough pushing a baby carriage

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