There was a segment on the news last night about the “manosphere” and the forums the perpetrator of the Toronto attack was involved in. The host was talking to a researcher into “incel culture” and one of her responses stuck with me. (1)
“Incel / Involuntary Celibate”, a self identified man who believes he doesn’t get sex because of his looks and personality and blames women and others for his “struggles” thus taking no responsibility for himself. (2)
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The radio host said something like, “so this isn’t a community of men trying to help each other build better social skills and personal betterment”. If men were helping each other and cultivating a space where they could all better understand and process their emotions ... (3)
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... we would be in a truly better community. But no. These groups of men don’t take personal responsibility for themselves and their supposed downfall at not getting sex. It is a mindset of entitlement, some weird mutation of nerd culture, that has become much more ... (4)
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... dangerous. Because its rhetoric blames women for not fucking them, blames women for fucking Other men. This is radicalization and cult like behaviour, creating Others: “Chads” “Stacies” “Normies” to pit themselves against. ... (5)
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... they think there’s someone to overcome, to achieve “what they deserve”. Unconditional sex from women. To feel like “alphas” when they feel insignificant bc of their looks or their behaviour or their circumstances. ... (6)
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... another problem is that their misogyny prevents them from seeking alternative means to their goal. Why pay a woman for what should be freely given. ... (7)
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... What needs to happen is having communities of men helping men. Encouraging each other to seek personal betterment. Sharing experiences and taking responsibility. A community where emotions are felt and processed healthily. ... (8)
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... encouraging simple tasks like: get a facial cleanser & moisturizer, bathe regularly, do more physical activity, get a therapist, stop hanging it with people that put you down, read more, take a cooking class. Do things that makes you happy. ... (9)
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... They need to know that no one is “lesser than” for not having sex. It’s not the be all end all. Being ones best self will attract people to their positive energy. This isn’t a tactic to score a woman, this is just reality. Self reflection & self care. (10/fin)
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