monica heiseyVerified account

@monicaheisey

comedy for television, print, and the internet. editor-at-large, .

Toronto, usually
monicaheisey.tumblr.com
Joined February 2010
135 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. 2 hours ago

    happy birthday, the internet! my fav person on here is a tinder date from 3 yrs ago who supportively likes all my professional announcements

    3 retweets 84 likes
  2. 11 hours ago

    - Sarah Hagi -

    3 retweets 8 likes
  3. 4 hours ago

    chill, relatable characters are kiiiiiind of my thing

    1 retweet 34 likes
  4. 5 hours ago

    guy on the street just said he'd "drink my sweat" if i asked, and it's like how did he KNOW i was ovulating??? nature is amazing

    1 retweet 35 likes
  5. Aug 22

    amazing roundtable on MuslimWomenSpeak w , , & talking about the hijab:

    48 retweets 57 likes
  6. Aug 22

    keep your sexts lighthearted by ending them, "the aristocrats!"

    3 retweets 20 likes
  7. Aug 22

    every single book i read age 10-14 was about a weird present-day teen who finds out her family's history = witches

    2 retweets 33 likes
  8. Aug 22

    research

    28 likes
  9. Aug 21 Newton, MA

    all boys want is for you to do the opposite of what they ask and then grab their weiner

    194 retweets 915 likes
  10. Aug 21

    the year is 2027. cameras are everywhere. no one minds because they all have a slimming filter that gives you cute little rabbit ears!!!!

    39 retweets 159 likes
  11. Aug 21

    mickey rourke's dog #1 loves carbonara

    23 retweets 99 likes
  12. Aug 20

    the best person i met at the music festival last night told me he was there to "get a verdict on whether or not i actually like music"

    44 likes
  13. Aug 20

    did the tree's pushy mom write this

    20 retweets 66 likes
  14. Aug 20

    just found out my writing partner 's favourite Friend is ROSS this is a disaster

    2 retweets 18 likes
  15. Aug 19

    perfect time of night to watch terse couples walking an ineffectual foot apart to prove a point

    7 retweets 51 likes
  16. Aug 19

    2 retweets 16 likes
  17. Aug 18

    sneaking in some very good dating advice before 1am

    28 retweets 191 likes
  18. Aug 18

    I will never apologize for my comedy being "confrontational" or "poorly written" or "edgy"

    5 retweets 41 likes
  19. Aug 17

    I really, really wish more people knew this

    322 retweets 444 likes
  20. Aug 18

    This is an important thing to read and be completely infuriated by, if you have the emotional disk space for it:

    4 retweets 8 likes

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