Mike O'Malley

You can be perfect, or you can be imperfect, but being perfectly imperfect is a rare feat.

Heartbreaking news. Fare thee well, brother. https://www.thoughtsonthedead.com/by-the-waterside-i-will-lay-my-head/ …

My 16yo son is all mad that no one told him about Kraftwerk before. Like I'm supposed to give him The Kraftwerk Talk. "Son, when a synthesizer and a drum machine love each other very much..."

Just sneezed so loud the dog almost bit me.

Dry January is officially over, people.

2021 just said “Hold my beer” to 2020.

God as my witness I thought all the tweets today about Brad Raffensperger were just misspelling Ben Rothlisberger.

I don’t know who at NASA needs to hear this but if this but if they don’t stream The Office on the trip to Mars, the mission is doomed.

Just had a meeting where the big takeaway was "more triangles".

cobra kai makes much more sense if you believe Daniel kicked Johnny into a coma in 1984 and this is all a weird revenge dream

Pro Tip: Wrap your pack of gum in your face mask.

The time between "nah, I don't need a haircut" and "holy shit I need a haircut" is disturbingly short.

Alright everyone! Big Day! Let's get out there and vote!

Nothing like starting a week of screaming at the television by screaming at the television.

Please note that when you watch a lot of videos of babies on TikTok, the algorithm may tag you as part of a community you are absolutely not qualified to be in.

Listening to Encyclopedia of Brittany by @blkfootwhtfoot and my ears have ordered my legs to stay put on the couch.

one bird in my yard is cute. ten birds in my yard is interesting. 100 birds in my yard is terrifying.