Mencius Moldbugman

Paris Baguette - the French-themed Korean bakery - is ground zero for hip and happening Zoés to chill and grab an eclair, unless of course an actual genuine Paul Bakery is in their town and then all bets are off.pic.twitter.com/Dmn8uzrG61

The Zoé fills her life with items that represent an ideal of France. Her favourite music becomes the soundtrack of the film Amelie or perhaps French-Jap jazz singer Lisa Ono. Ofc she never watches anything that paints a less than idyllic view of France, like La Haine for instancepic.twitter.com/88EwJcPjnn

Slowly the Frencophilia manifests in dress & voice. Zoé will begin to drop the h's from her words so that others are greeted with a bizarre "Ni 'ao" every time she says hi. She’ll start wearing ridiculous hats like little pastel green berets or bizarre monstrosities with featherspic.twitter.com/RIqQgn7Zmh

The Zoé will continue her rosy embrace of all things French until one of two end conclusions naturally occur:pic.twitter.com/EBixIf4TGZ

1. Zoé actually lands herself a French boyfriend. Typically these can be bagged at classes at the Alliance Francais or hanging around fancy Shanghai restaurants. Zoé will be ecstatic at having her very own Frenchman, and all will be good for a little while.pic.twitter.com/4AiXhpzftY

However, she will be inevitably heartbroken when the Frenchman's naturally unfaithful ways result in him announcing one day that he has another girl pregnant. Zoé will then realise she's 28, start speaking normally again and marry an accountant from Ji'nan ten years her senior.pic.twitter.com/jaClO0UDUy

(The Frenchman will, of course, go on to do what comes naturally to a Frenchman: miscegenation with an African) Les grands-parents pleurentpic.twitter.com/wIBWghj1pV

Or she may follow the 2nd route: Zoé may actually GO to Paris and by doing so receive the biggest existential shock of her entire life.pic.twitter.com/A9oqorz8Mn