The entertainment left much to be desired. Our shared monitors displayed the very best of Socialist films and lots and lots of images of Kim Jong Un.pic.twitter.com/xAaV7UqPdl
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... as were the weird plastic injected cubicle bathrooms.pic.twitter.com/pXPmk8kVKp
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From my smoking area I had a nice view of Downtown Pyongyang - or DoToPyYa as Korean hipsters like to call it (lie).pic.twitter.com/y2MNOnekqE
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The coal stacks of Pyongyang provided warmth to my room and glorious views...pic.twitter.com/rVHxAUItqi
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... as did this bottomless pit where visiting dignitaries who disagree with the Juche Idea are cast into.pic.twitter.com/KxznhpNgeL
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Beer in the DPRK is actually pretty good. The main Taedonggang state-owner brewery produces 8 different beers imaginatively entitled Beers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. This is Beer Number 2.pic.twitter.com/mrMHP3lDis
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Even though we were not allowed to leave the hotel at night, I did not visit the hotel’s karaoke room despite promises that it was a “wonderland”.pic.twitter.com/Jk8wIJU7U8
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The next day we headed down to the DMZ. Our guide regaled is with facts and figures about the glories of North Korea and the Kim Dynasty. In all honestly, she was pretty cool. Here she is teaching us the traditional Korean patriotic song “Arirang”.pic.twitter.com/5G3hgHRLve
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She wrote us the words in case you wish to sing along at home. She also made a joke that if we didn’t memorise the song by heart then we weren’t getting our passports back. I learnt the song.pic.twitter.com/v1WTJszcdV
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North Korean smokes livened up the journey. Here is Arirang brand and 7.27 which is regarded as their best brand. 7.27 is the date the Korean Armistice Agreement was signed.pic.twitter.com/guzPsjFOa0
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The town bordering the DMZ is famous for its ginseng. Low class and obnoxious Chinese tour groups flock here from across the border for cheap meds. The Koreans despised their bad behaviour, noise and spitting but need the money.pic.twitter.com/572X6cmj25
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These kind of Chinese tour groups are shuttled to the DMZ and the ginseng shops. Due to the strict controls placed on tourist behaviour they are generally not allowed into Pyongyang or anywhere near the sacred sites related to the Kims. The Chinese don’t seem interested either.pic.twitter.com/P0njznuzZG
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We were herded through the DMZ area due to the hundreds of Chinese tourists. This is where the Korean armistice was signed. At all times we had to follow NK soldiers and obey their orders on where to walk and what we could photo.pic.twitter.com/hYCsg9T94k
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There are actually farming villages on the North Korean side of the DMZ where farmers pick rice from the barren landscape. Note the fluttering North Korean flag signifying their territory...pic.twitter.com/vfUOL9kEX1
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DPRK soldiers used to wear old fashioned Communist uniforms, but since the talks with the South and the US, the two sides have been wearing the same style uniform since last year in an effort towards detente.pic.twitter.com/z4fHSsu1N5
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We saw no anti-American propaganda at all in Best Korea. We were told that previously it was rife - think billboards with images of the White House getting nuked - but since the talks with Trump this has all been removed... for now. Still plenty of anti-Japanese propaganda thoughpic.twitter.com/kvO0Lkul3c
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This structure on the highway between Pyongyang and the DMZ represents two women in traditional dress linking hands. It symbolises Korean reunification.pic.twitter.com/zlbXbamnfM
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Back in Pyongyang, we then experienced one of my personal highlights of the tour: a trip on the Pyongyang underground train system.pic.twitter.com/h4Q4FWKvkn
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We travelled on the first three stations, respectively named “Prosperity”, “Glory” and “Flaming Torch”. I approve of these names. There are doubts whether the other 13 stations really exist. Our guide told us they were “under repair”.pic.twitter.com/TJ2XD8EtO8
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Prosperity Station. Note the old creaking trains, the glorious murals on all walls, and the lights overhead.pic.twitter.com/X0O3NBT64D
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Even down here you are never far from Socialist Realism, though I prefer this over McDonalds adverts.pic.twitter.com/A2JaECTn7T
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This kinda reminded me of the City of Rapture in Bioshock.pic.twitter.com/Dso4abRZwg
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North Koreans heading home after a busy day working for the greater good.pic.twitter.com/oaRJ7WdSJm
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If you look carefully at the far wall of the train carriage you will notice the portraits of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il always watching.pic.twitter.com/dTHor8TWzG
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Flaming Torchlight Station: surprisingly summer than Glory Station.pic.twitter.com/YFjO2nQNCk
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Upon emerging from the underground, we were then taken to a bizarre mini amusement park that was shockingly quite good.pic.twitter.com/DLelTEM2T4
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Though the rides were modern, we were still not allowed more than a few metres away from our ever-present tour guides, and we had to put our cameras away whenever a soldier walked by.pic.twitter.com/0nAheretUH
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People seemed to be having a genuinely good time. North Korea isn’t a simple black and white place, though as a tourist I was of course only given a highly chaperoned tour of what they wanted me to see.pic.twitter.com/00MEuhTAeK
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Some important buildings around Pyongyang: The Arch of Triumph.pic.twitter.com/K5x56d2OKk
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