Mencius Moldbugman

Indulge me in a quick thought experiment. How did Mark and Priscilla Zuckerberg get together?

The first part is easy. I think I can hazard a fairly accurate guess as to why Priscilla decided to marry awkward, socially autistic, weedy, man-boobed billionaire Mark Zuckerberg. So why did Mark marry Priscilla?

There’s no denying that there’s a neediness & a desire for attention in everything Zuckerberg does. Such a deep psychological craving for the respect of other people is common to high-IQ nerds who feel during their formative teen years that the unfair world is against them.

Bigger guys get the girls, but if I get rich then I can get girls too. As a theory it certainly explains his drive to create a monumentally successful (except in China – hah!) billion dollar business, esp a social media business that further focuses the attention onto its founder

I believe there is a strong possibility that Suckerberg has a very deep level of insecurity that his billions have not managed to cancel out.

Before someone chooses to comment that I’m wrong to judge Priscilla solely on her looks, I’m sure she has a “lovely personality” blah blah. She’s also a woman with a “lovely personality” who married an equally ugly man just for his money. (This isn’t the fucking Guardian.)

However, given everything we have seen about Mark Zuckerberg and his pitiful grovelling before the Chinese government, how can anybody be sure that he didn’t just marry a Chinese wife so that he could present himself even more as a “friend of China”?

No. I must be wrong. There is no way in this world that a Chinese woman would marry the billionaire head of a global media empire just for his money, and that the billionaire head of a global media empire would marry a Chinese woman just to expand his business interests in China.

“Mark Zuckerberg’s attempt to forge a friendship with China’s President Xi Jinping appears to have backfired. The leader reportedly snubbed the Facebook founder’s request to choose an honorary Chinese name for his unborn baby girl with wife Priscilla Chan.”

“Mark, who is trying to lift China’s ban on FB, met Xi a number of times during his visit to the US last month. But it was at a spectacular White House dinner hosted by President Barack Obama in Xi’s honor on September 25 that Mark was brave enough to ask for the personal favor.”

“Seated at the head table with his pregnant wife, the Obamas and President Xi and his wife Peng Liyuan, Zuckerberg plucked up the courage to ask Xi to name his baby daughter – in Mandarin. But a source told PageSix that he received a definitive ‘no’ from a stony-faced Xi.”

Dear Lord. Not only has Suckerberg learnt Mandarin, jogged in Beijing and married a daughter of the Yellow Emperor just so that he can suck up to Zhongnanhai, he also asked Xi Jinping to provide the name of his then unborn daughter.

He is willing to hand over all aspects of his family life to Xi Jinping if it even gave him the slightest chance of having his website unblocked in China for a week.

By asking Xi Jinping to name his daughter, Mark’s effectively granting ownership of his baby over to Xi. There’s a name for a man who raises a baby who belongs to somebody else, and that name is “cuckold”.