Mencius Moldbugman

Jobs are available but the only ones that would accept someone with a 2:2 in English Lit aren’t attractive and require too much work. Our heroine then solely pursues unpaid work or internships in more glamourous industries.

While she works for free in a media company, Mum and Dad (plus a revolving posse of beta males) fund her rent and lifestyle. Student loans go unpaid because she isn’t actually earning (this is where the UK and US systems differ).

Finally, in her mid to late 20s (if she hasn’t gone back into education) she will start to earn a salary. However, it will barely exceed the minimum £21,000 threshold so she pays back nothing or very little for her student loans.

Simultaneously to all this, she will be on the lookout for a man to marry because all her friends are doing it and she doesn’t want to be left out. If she is paying back any student loan money it will be more than covered by the free gifts/dinners provided by her beau.

Congrats! The girl finally marries. With marriage, she suddenly feels a deep emptiness. She realises she doesn’t really like work. She’s been sold a lie. Getting up in the morning is tough and all the office politics are draining. Is this how life was meant to be?

One “Sorry darling, I know I said I was on the pill but oops I forgot!” later, she is out of the office and back at home earning sweet sweet maternity leave money thanks to her woke employer’s generous labour laws. No more work and no more fees!

Every time the maternity leave is about to run out, repeat the process another 1 or 2 times. This buys years of maternity leave and thanks to female friendly European laws you can’t be fired or replaced! Hubby of course needs to man the fuck up and provide more.

The next few years are a dream of finger painting, baking cupcakes, and box wine while the kids are at school. Maybe the woman will return to work, but it will be part time and certainly not a level to pay back any pesky student loans.