What with the current trend for sensory deprivation horror films like A Quiet Place and Bird Box, I think it’s time I hitched myself to this bandwagon. After a few gin and tonics I have arrived at the following ideas...
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“Softly, Softly” A succubus that can create visions of men’s sexual fantasies appears in a small town. If you get an erection in its presence it will eat you, so you must resist your primal urges. Chaos ensues when the succubus descends on all male teen sleepover party.
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“Where Angels Fear To Tread” - A curse is placed upon the land meaning anyone who sets foot on outside land dies. Survivors of this apocalyptic dystopia must swing from trees and ropes. But what happens when a tornado comes to town and the nearest med supplies are a mile away?
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“50 Lashes” An aggrieved woman gains the power to use her eyelashes to... oh, who fucking cares? Doesn’t matter how shit it is, as long as some SJW shit is thrown in then Netflix will sign it up. I’m fucking done.
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“Peri Peri Chicken” Biowarfare results in all food becoming poisonous except for chicken sourced from Portugal, but it is only safe to eat after rubbing it on a black man’s perineum. Suddenly, the centuries old racial hierarchy is tipped on its head.
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“50 Lashes”. An aggrieved woman gains the ability to use her eyelashes to... oh, who fucking cares? Doesn’t matter how shit it is, as long as it’s got some SJW nonsense thrown in then Netflix will buy it. I’m fucking done.
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