1. As we reach the festive time of year, let me share with you a personal anecdote about how diversity in the workplace ruins Christmas.
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4. So on the Secret Santa day, I received my present. It was a box of strawberry flavoured condoms. My friend told me that the lesbian had bought me this cos she thought I was a dick.
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5. The office had about 120 people. Everybody starts emailing everybody with lines like “Thank you whoever you are for my new cup!” or “Thanks Secret Santa: I love the shower gel gift set!” - that kind of thing.
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6. Not wanting to be left out I sent out a group email saying “Thank you Secret Santa for the strawberry flavoured condoms. How did you know it was my favourite flavour?” Fairly innocuous, right?
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7. Three hours later, I was pulled into HR. I was told that my email was offensive and somebody in the office had made a complaint. The complainant was disgusted and felt threatened by my email. I was given a warning and made to write an apology to the whole office.
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8. So who made the complaint? Why, the fat lesbian who had bought me the condoms in the first place, of course! The next year the Secret Santa practice was banned. Thanks diversity!
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End of conversation
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