1. As we reach the festive time of year, let me share with you a personal anecdote about how diversity in the workplace ruins Christmas.
Show this thread
-
3. I was friends with the cute girl in marketing who was organising this activity. She leaked to me that my Secret Santa was the fat ageing lesbian who hated me. She had tried to change my name when she drew my name from the hat, but it was the last one and she had to stick to it
Show this thread
4. So on the Secret Santa day, I received my present. It was a box of strawberry flavoured condoms. My friend told me that the lesbian had bought me this cos she thought I was a dick.
-
-
5. The office had about 120 people. Everybody starts emailing everybody with lines like “Thank you whoever you are for my new cup!” or “Thanks Secret Santa: I love the shower gel gift set!” - that kind of thing.
Show this thread -
6. Not wanting to be left out I sent out a group email saying “Thank you Secret Santa for the strawberry flavoured condoms. How did you know it was my favourite flavour?” Fairly innocuous, right?
Show this thread -
7. Three hours later, I was pulled into HR. I was told that my email was offensive and somebody in the office had made a complaint. The complainant was disgusted and felt threatened by my email. I was given a warning and made to write an apology to the whole office.
Show this thread -
8. So who made the complaint? Why, the fat lesbian who had bought me the condoms in the first place, of course! The next year the Secret Santa practice was banned. Thanks diversity!
Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
-
-
Well, you have one, so not far off. I’ll keep on reading now.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.