taylorgang amadeus mozart

@mogpdiddy

a little wisp of soul carrying a corpse

Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2014.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    *on first date* Her: so what do you do Me: I'm a philosopher Her: ... Me: ... Her: ...so what does that mean Me: precisely

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  2. best friend i graduated college with: hey man my wife and i are having another kid! me: i am having a difficult time keeping this succulent alive

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  3. Men's Wearhouse fitter: you have long arms bro, you ball? [Me, being reminded how unremarkable I am at sports]...yesss?

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  4. Kyle Shanahan - that ain't it, Chief

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  5. 3. velj

    If he lived in DC he'd be Patrick Macondos at best LOL

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  6. 2. velj

    I saw this friend last week. This was following a pun - at last I am finally vindicated. Unfortunately I'm now a total ass and not even remotely pleasant to be around. But hey ya gotta make compromises sometimes

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  7. 2. velj

    [watches 10 seconds of This Is Us] This ain't me though

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  8. 2. velj

    Always wave at my webcam for that special person watching on the other end. Hackers deserve love and acknowledgement, too. I see u boo (and u see me too 😉)

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  9. 1. velj

    The only thing standing between me and being the #1 draft pick is: an average build, below average athletic abilities, poor work ethic, a general inability to run for longer than 10 continuous seconds without becoming short of breath, the cloud of death that enshrouds me,

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  10. 29. sij

    Bi Bi Bi - NSYNC updating us on their sexual orientation

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  11. 28. sij

    *Showing up to IRS headquarters, approaching random person in lobby* I-Arr-S, where's me buried treasure? Presumed IRS employee: sir? Me: I want my tax refund

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  12. 27. sij

    Gonna buy a burial plot in Virginia so I can establish in-state residency for tuition (it's a thing). Throw me in the dirt in Chesapeake baby!!! Tombstone inscription: Chesapeake at this guy!

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  13. 27. sij

    I saw this a long time ago when I was an undergrad in philosophy and it changed my life. I still think of it often

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  14. 26. sij

    Gratitude that Ma didn't marry dude (pic 1) but did marry dude (pic 2). It enabled some normal looking folk (pic 3) and though they've passed, they enjoyed some good years together (pic 4). We miss em both but today's his bday so he gets the special fanfare :)

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  15. 26. sij

    Crushed up some Ambien in my pepperoni slice, call it pi💤a

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  16. 26. sij

    All my life I've lived by a code, and the code is simple: honor the gods, love your woman, and 0110010001101011001100011

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  17. 26. sij

    Achilles needs to aCHILLes and stop killing all the Trojans LOL

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  18. 25. sij

    Satan, welcoming me to hell: muahahaahaha Me: you should've said HELLo

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  19. 24. sij

    Marie "Condo", DC Edition. How to spark joy by decluttering a 600 square foot basement apartment with only an instantpot your aunt bought you that you don't know how to use and books that are unreadable because you don't wanna raise the utility bill

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  20. 24. sij

    I love to hang out with my girlfriend who is real! She is my girlfriend so why do I need to prove she is real to the people who claim I'm discussing The Critique of Pure Reason with myself in the elevator. Why would I do that? I'm talking to my girlfriend, who is real.

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  21. 22. sij

    Dom Toretto was the first known casualty of corona-virus

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