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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    11. ruj 2019.

    Me: I made a tweet! My brain: did anybody press the Button Me: many people pressed the Button Brain: excellent. you may now have 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝒞𝒽𝑒𝓂𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓈

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Will not name names because I don't want to give her the attention she craves but the celebrity who's been tormenting me in the DMs needs to grow up

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    13. sij

    Managed to make a nice profit in the group chat today 💰

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. stu 2019.

    Tyler Durden: welcome to fight club! thanks for coming Me: don’t mention it Tyler Durden: *under breath* fuck he’s good

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    15. pro 2019.

    *listening to slow mumford and sons song* me: this is nice... but I wish there were a part where the guy would strum really fast *the guy begins to strum fast* me: wha woooOaAh

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. pro 2019.

    Being sad over a breakup: - Unproductive - Waste of time - Sad Saying “That’s show biz, baby!” - Awesome - Cultivates reputation as unflappable cosmopolitan go-getter - thats show biz, baby

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. pro 2019.

    Me: hello I would like to take care of my bones Health Insurance: Sure thing! How about an x-ray? Would you like a cast? Me: no, the bones in my mouth Health Insurance: OH HO HO no, not your TEETH bones

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    guy at bar: *up in my face* what the fuck did you just say to me me: i said “stuart little doesn’t drive a toy car, it is a real car that has simply been made to be very small” guy at bar: *smashing bottle* that doesn’t make any fucking sense

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    [Tour of NASA Headquarters] Guide: So NASA was founded in July of 1958 with the goal- Me: *interrupting* Is it true the moon won’t bleed no matter how many times you stab it? Guide: *into walkie talkie* He’s back.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    me, the only one in spanish class who can’t roll his r’s:

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    “Kansas City Chiefs” - insensitive to Native Americans - only have one kind of bowl - at least they’re not Washington? “Kansas City Chefs” - woah baby - this fucking rules - vast assortment of bowls - what ya whipping up in the kitchen? - can i have some

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    guard 1: choose your path wisely. one of us always lies and one of us alwa- guard 2: AAAAAAHHH guard 1: always screams me: doesn’t that get annoying? guard 1: *heavy sigh* no it’s super fucking awesome

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata
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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Yoda Groot 🤝 🤝 Baby 🤝 🤝 Spice Nut

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    DEALING WITH A LIFE-ALTERING ISSUE: I'll be fine, we can figure it out DEALING WITH TINY INSIGNIFICANT ISSUE: Everything sucks and I want to die

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata
    Odgovor korisniku/ci
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  17. prije 3 sata

    absolutely bleeding buzzcut shiny sunglass avis for this one

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Angel: ma’am, I think this is a little unnecessary God: *reaching into a hat for a slip of paper* don’t question my process Platypus: I think she has a point

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 9 sati

    who called it a voicemail and not a boomer-rang

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  20. prije 4 sata

    woo, and i cannot stress this enough, hoo

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  21. prije 4 sata

    today is the darkest day of the year for pigs, where they must once again go back to being blanketless

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