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  1. Retweeted

    Pennsylvania man accused of breaking into a music store and stealing guitars tells reporters he has one thing to say: "Go Eagles."

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  2. Retweeted
    19 hours ago

    House GOP Chair Liz Cheney condemns for “foul language” at presser. Her dad Dick Cheney told Sen Leahy to “go f@@k yourself” on the Senate floor when he was VP

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  3. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    It's , but a cute version.

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  4. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    Oh look, another white MAGA boy insulting me using the term “single mom.” As if being married to an asshole like you would be a privilege. Please. It’s 2019, bitch.

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  5. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    Capitol Hill BID in the news: highlighted the BID expanding clean team services in and around federal-owned parks in response to the government shutdown on Friday, December 21. More information:

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  6. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    Mitt Romney, Maverick Born: Jan. 2, 2019 Died: Jan. 2, 2019

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  7. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    A couple years ago, when I was writing for American Dad!, I needed an Arabic speaker for a small part. Our casting director recommended a Saudi comedian, who happened to be in LA for a couple months shooting a tv show. His name is Fahad Albutairi.

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  8. Retweeted
    31 Dec 2018

    Hey Louis CK - since you like making fun of me and other Parkland survivors behind closed doors, I’m right here if you want to talk. Just try to keep it in your pants, ok?

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  9. Retweeted

    White people: "I may not agree with everything Donald Trump does, but he's our President, and we have to respect and support him." Black people:

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  12. Retweeted
    30 Dec 2018
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  13. Retweeted

    Critical Malachi Hooks, 10, who was last seen in the 200 block of I Street, Southeast, on Friday, December 28, 2018. Seen him? Call 202-727-9099/text 50411

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  14. Retweeted
    27 Dec 2018

    twitter is cool cause if it had been an alien that landed in astoria someone would have posted it and said "twitter do ur thing" and we woulda found that alien's mom, dad, all his nudes he ever sent, his social media profiles, and his boss's wife cell number in like 4 minutes.

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  15. Retweeted
    26 Dec 2018

    Industries lobbying against legal marijuana - * Alcohol * * Tobacco * * Big pharma * * Police unions * * Private prisons * * Prison guard unions * The same ones that stand to lose money. It’s almost like the whole drug war is just a profit generating scam.

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  16. Retweeted
    27 Dec 2018

    Let's take a moment to thank and celebrate the life of Richard Overton the nation's oldest living veteran whose passed away this evening at age 112. Thank you for your service, sir.

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  17. 27 Dec 2018

    Hey the gentleman at the cab stand this evening is a wonderful and helpful human 😊 nice to come home to such friendliness!

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  18. Retweeted
    26 Dec 2018

    Distance yourself from people who: 1 speak poorly about others 2 have problems for every solution 3 enjoy complaining 4 always feel entitled 5 blame others for losing 6 take more than give 7 make you feel bad about yourself 8 cheat or lie 9 bully or troll 10 nitpick as a hobby

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  19. Retweeted
    26 Dec 2018

    and it can also save your life

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  20. Retweeted

    Your annual reminder that Ralphie from A Christmas Story is now daddy af. 👇🏻🤓🤤🎁

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