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mistermircea's profile
Mircea Macavei
Mircea Macavei
Mircea Macavei
@mistermircea

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Mircea Macavei

@mistermircea

Individualist, Gallivanter.

Joined October 2016

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    1. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      1.For As long as he remembered, Max wanted to be a writer. He also kept a scorecard in his mind. But he would only find out about that later

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
    2. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      2.At 27, and after a particularly painful breakup with his long-term girlfriend, Max decided to dedicate himself completely to his writing.

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
    3. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      3.The first thing he did after moving into his new apartment was to arrange with his day job in sales to work from home.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    4. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      4.The second was to have a space to create and practice his craft, something he sorely missed whilst sharing an apartment with his ex.

      1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
    5. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      5.The first few months of liberty from his daily commute and the office routine put a spring in his step. Finally, he thought, freedom.

      1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
    6. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      6.Max had always been fairly responsible, but as a true creative, consistency and follow-through were his weaknesses.

      1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
    7. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      7.Although he willed himself, he couldn't establish a consistent routine; at least he knew he had the freedom to do so any time he pleased.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    8. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      8.Most of his time was spent browsing the Internet, thinking, going for walks, cooking food, only writing every few days.

      1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
    9. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      9.As the months passed, Max started feeling that the goal he had invested his whole life in was slipping further and further away.

      1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
    10. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
      Replying to @mistermircea

      10.Many times he attempted to get back on track. Succeeding for a few days, feeling better, then quickly slipping back into his old habits.

      2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017

      11.He knew precisely what was wrong, and what he should do about it -or so he thought. For almost all of his thoughts now revolved around it

      7:21 PM - 15 Jul 2017
      • 2 Likes
      • Nik Kaspar Hauser
      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          12.To compensate, he isolated himself even more, berating and admonishing himself for wasting time on anything other than writing.

          1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
        3. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          13.He stopped seeing friends, stopped answering calls from his mother, stopped cleaning his apartment and grooming himself.

          1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        4. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          14.He worked enough to be able to pay his bills and have a few dollars left each day for food. He was miserable in his freedom.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        5. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          15.Gradually, his existence consumed him with anxiety. A year had passed. He had made little progress, barely having written 50 pages.

          1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        6. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          16.It was now summertime and as he didn't have any money saved for a vacation he took a sick leave from work and bought 5 bottles of vodka.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        7. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          17.For the next three days he mostly lied in bed; drunk, smoking, crying, the A/C cooling away the last sparks of will in his heart.

          2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        8. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          18.The torment he experienced was indescribable. He kept repeating to himself like a mantra: "I give up. I give up. I give up".

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
        9. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          19.On the fourth day he woke up to something unusual: His mind was completely blank. He couldn't believe how serene he was.

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
        10. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          20.He could recall all the thoughts that tormented him so much yet he felt absolutely embodied and apart from them.

          2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        11. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          21.He could only liken this state to the long-forgotten state of presence he used to be in constantly as a child.

          1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
        12. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          22.That night, he went out for a walk. He began thinking, but now his thoughts had a different quality to them.

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
        13. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          23.He didn't criticize or scrutinize them any longer, and they didn't object to him. They came as his breathing; to nourish and help.

          1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        14. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          24.He knew everything would be OK. He didn't know why, but he knew that if he waited, he'd understand. And wait he did.

          1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        15. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          25.As he made his way home that night, you could recognize him smiling every step of the way.

          1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        16. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          26."Man, you look great. You look happy. I'm so happy to see it", his best friend Jack said as they walked through the autumn leaves.

          1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        17. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          27."I thought we'd lost you there. What happened?", he asked. Max looked him in the eye and replied, "I stopped keeping score."

          1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
        18. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          28."What do you mean?", Jack asked. "I threw away the scorecard", Max said. "What's the scorecard?" Jack asked again.

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
        19. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          29.Journal Entry, July 17, 2017, Max's journal: (Song playing: The Beatles - I Am The Walrus)

          1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        20. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          30."No one is keeping score but you. That scorecard only exists in imagination. Drop it. Forget it. It's making you sick.

          1 reply 7 retweets 35 likes
        21. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          31.The scorecard is you keeping tabs on you. It's your own evaluation of yourself, in all of the aspects of your life.

          1 reply 2 retweets 22 likes
        22. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          32.The scorecard is the equivalent of ego, your idea of yourself. It is your objectification of yourself, and the measure of that object.

          2 replies 4 retweets 31 likes
        23. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          33.When that object fails to meet the standards and expectations you have of it, you feel the negative repercussions.

          1 reply 2 retweets 17 likes
        24. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          34.A struggle against it begins, a struggle to make amends with your own self-loathing. An endless uphill battle.

          1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
        25. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          35.Yet no measure of success can appease the ego. There is always "more". There is always "better". And there is always "failure".

          1 reply 5 retweets 24 likes
        26. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          36.What you really want is to live beyond this narrow, self-imposed structure of keeping score that is imprisoning you.

          1 reply 3 retweets 20 likes
        27. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          37.Look around you! Who cares? Who really gives a fuck, expect you and your precious ego? Who else is keeping tabs?

          1 reply 7 retweets 26 likes
        28. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          38.The scorecard is suffocating you. It is obstructing your self-expression. It is inhibiting action rather than enabling it.

          2 replies 4 retweets 18 likes
        29. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          39.Comparison to an ideal always fails because ideals do not exist in this life. Love & respect ideals, but don't be their prisoner.

          2 replies 8 retweets 26 likes
        30. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          40.Self-expression requires no justification. Stand as you are. Make your mistakes. Do what makes you come alive. Your life is YOUR life.

          1 reply 11 retweets 46 likes
        31. Mircea Macavei‏ @mistermircea 15 Jul 2017
          Replying to @mistermircea

          41.Liberate yourself from your inner tyrant. You were always afraid to do it, thinking it would be a disaster. The tyrant is the disaster.

          1 reply 1 retweet 26 likes
        32. 19 more replies

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