For the last 2-3 years, there's this feeling in the background. It's quite complicated, because it's there and I can reach it and touch it. Let go. That's the one. I feel that if I let go (of what?) I will enter this tremendously powerful stream of blurry awareness.
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Everything will go faster and stronger and I will lose touch with aspects of my current life. I can't even describe it with words. Music and visual do it justice. It reminds me of an ascending scale played by violins, violas and horns.
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Perpetually going and going. And I am in there, climbing along with that melody. And very few of the things that matter now will matter then. And my surroundings are blurred and moving as fast as I am moving. It plays in my head right now. It's so real, yet so deceptive.
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Why deceptive? Because it's a totally subjective, unnamed feeling I haven't yet figured. There's no pattern to draw data from. And it won't be activated in the external world. There's a switch. A conscious choice to be made, but when and why?
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I sound like a crazy fuck with this shit
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Replying to @mistermircea
I know. I usually try to offer something more relatable, in terms that make sense outside of myself, so talking like this doesn't feel quite proper.
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Replying to @katavasis
Props for taking the plunge and going for it. That's a meaningful act on its own, and perhaps also necessary.
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Replying to @mistermircea @katavasis
I've always maintained that self-expression requires no justification, but objectivity would have us think otherwise.
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Replying to @mistermircea
I agree, but when you are examining yourself to make sense of the world, expression that doesn't use a medium (eg a metaphor, a story, an insight) can be seductive on its own as it equates you to something greater. ie you can run into the danger of falling in love with your mind
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This is a great observation and a very salient point. Subjectivity requires the mooring of objectivity, and vice versa, otherwise it is nothing.
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Replying to @mistermircea
Yes! Especially now that reconciling subjective and objective reality is the key to the future.
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