maybe edgelord is bad
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I don’t really know how to talk about it without it being cringe or using very weird analogies. It also sounds like sugary mono-causality.
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But basically I had a few very cool relationships, got a cool dog, and started getting very into meditation. Now when I look back I _think_ I can see how much impact those relationships had, but it could easily be meditation, or a bunch of other things of course.
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jesus christ this is so depressing
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fwiw it was only my last relationship (beginning age... 21? 22?) that things started to get marginally better. prior to that I did a cross country trip with a girl who ghosted me, and dated a guy in Texas I fell in love with who ghosted me too, spurring me into years of anhedonia
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