Mi'sen

Contemplative fieldnotes: Had an interesting chat with a long term Vajrayana practitioner, about how a practitioner represents the dharma back to themself/others. They are quite convinced that the symbols/stories used to represent dharma, shape the ‘flavour’ of training a lot.

Eg: I was asking about a mahamudra text where cessation is described as something that a well trained mind can do, but it’s kind of no big deal. The issue comes in where it becomes the entire goal, and then the person rejects experience/life in a way which becomes an impediment.

That could be avoided with skilful teaching, but it’s also possible to shift the perspective a bit, so then you end up with yogis singing about stuff like the one ground of samsara and nirvana (mind itself), or the one taste of bliss and suffering, those sort of themes.

This is also probably why you get formulations such as the three kayas - where dharmakaya refers to something like the non-experience of cessation, and nirmanakaya is the full play and sensitivity of awareness during ‘normal’ experience. (One way of thinking about it, at least)

In terms of one’s practice, I think it’s good to reflect on this and try to gain some sort of visual on hidden assumptions with regards to states/stages, terminology we’re using to, desire better experience, desire for peace, revulsion, hopes, fears, etc.

Eg: I noticed that I have a pretty subtle & ingrained preference — and intentional skew — for restful states of mind, so much so that I am deliberately breaking up my meditation when I start to veer towards stillness, so that I can investigate the mind more in full-chaos mode.

Also helpful to look at imaginal elements in our practice, ritual aspects. Eg: I noticed that when I maintain a sense of lineage, the general texture of my retreat feels much more earthy, grounded, stable. I can see how one could make v.strong beliefs out of that sort of symbol.

Feedback Questions: • Does any of that make sense? • Any immediate thoughts/insights in relation to those notes? • Has your relationship to traditional goals/stages/states changed noticably as your practice matured? • Does any of the above invoke an emotional reaction?