Mi'sen

the topics i'm thinking about a lot right now are the ways that anxiety and depression AND physical ailments (in my case some chronic painm digestive issues, rashes) can be (but are not necessarily always) symptoms of autonomic nervous system dysfunction that results from trauma

early developmental trauma and complex (recurring over a long period of time) trauma can orient the entire personality around a defensive strategy to avoid deep felt senses of shame

this type of dysregulation requires RELATIONAL and SOMATIC interventions. talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy and even mindfulness alone can help change and manage some of the aspects but essentially the trauma needs to be metabolized in a full body and social way

doing the sound and music healing training i did last year started to open me up to this line of inquiry and practice, and now studying neurodevelopmental trauma a little more deeply i'm unpacking WHY playing music with other people can be so so so healing

long story short, trauma of various kinds can get our bodies essentially addicted to being in "survival physiology" ie increased stress hormones flooding the body, which is incredibly taxing on the physical body and can create emotional dysregulation

so i'm researching and learning a lot about whole-body forms of care and healing that rely on rhythm and regulation, in a social setting

one form of this dysregulation is having FLIGHT and FREEZE modes activated simultaneously. which, as i unpack my time in what i now understand to be a coercive and toxic meditation center, i realize is why i could meditate so much and for such long periods