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"My relationship with this idea, technique, lineage is deep & intimate but also cautious, at times critical. Despite such resistance it is probably true to say that I am at heart more Kagyu than anything else; this continually ripens in a curious unfolding of immanence & history"
Although it doesn't really mean a whole lot, I can respect why someone might say they feel more _x_ than anything. Curious, how people are drawn to cultural spheres - and their way of thinking/behaving - even when they don't see those frames as their dominant group.
eg: nearly all - with a few important exceptions - of the most interesting & committed meditators I have met seem equally skeptical of identifying with any particular religious institution as they are with their arguably naive rejection. Resisting cultural footings is futile.
In my (currently very rough) notes I sometimes refer to this as a sort of 'cultural resonance', where there are enough commonalities or practical applications between the person and the sphere (as they're manifesting in their world, the functional pivots in their patterns etc).
Hence why (maybe) someone may resonate strongly with some pretty essential points of mahamudra, and yet not be willing to say they're a buddhist or mahamudra practitioner, for example. This may seem obvious, or trivial, and yet I don't think we've really looked at this properly.
My current solution to this resonance/dissonance is to notice the ways in which the tension impacts on us (emotionally, cognitively, behaviourally), and then just play on that edge. This is how I train in a buddhist context, I play. This is hard to do uncynically & honourably.
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