Miranda Berman

@Mirandapberman

Writer for The Mindy Project. My book comes out September '17. Someday I'll delete this account & feel whole. Until then, let's party.

on the Hollwood Map of Stars
Joined May 2009

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Apr 2

    "I know I seem like an I extrovert, but I'm actually an introvert." - literally, everyone. Pls stop. This isn't interesting.

  2. 2 hours ago

    Like I know I'll eventually have to start meditating, but I'm going to fight off embracing spirituality for as long as I can.

  3. Retweeted
    2 hours ago

    Mary-Kate and Ashley are so chic I bet they treat their gay friends like they're real people.

  4. 2 hours ago

    Three of my top four co-dependent friendships are spending all of June in NY. Gonna be a weird month of me having to think my thoughts.

  5. Retweeted
    Jun 7

    "Last week, something amazing happened: I got a pedicure and was not asked if I wanted callous remover."

  6. Retweeted
    Jun 7

    ET & CT It's time for TALK SHOW THE GAME SHOW! With turn on your televisions.

  7. Jun 7

    I wrote about my feet, guys. It's cool. Get over it.

  8. Jun 6

    "Cancelling plans last minute" is not "your thing." It's just what literally everyone does, every night.

  9. Jun 6

    I fall asleep at night by thinking about interesting and new outfit combinations. Sometimes it backfires and it gets me TOO excited.

  10. Jun 6

    I'd love to meet alternate universe me without an iPhone. She must have so many interests/ hobbies. I want to copy them, to tell people.

  11. Jun 5

    If you're running out of things to fixate on, just wear all linen. Wrinkles will consume your mind in no time & you'll be like "Trump who?"

  12. Retweeted
    Jun 5
    , , and 5 others
  13. Jun 4
    Replying to

    Shoulda been handmaiden undergarment. I deserve to be sent to The Colonies.

  14. Jun 4
    Replying to
  15. Jun 4

    But I am still hoping that Joseph Fiennes will decide to romantically twirl Offred out of her handmaid's undergarment.

  16. Jun 3

    I'm a pedo for baby Groot. 🌴

  17. Jun 3

    Overspent on a pink bag today, but it's fine I think because it's millennial pink and cause of politics.

  18. Jun 3

    My favorite part of getting cat called is being reprimanded after for not saying thank you, then being too afraid to explain why I didn't.

  19. Jun 3

    "Dating" just means that they're still tech avail.

  20. Jun 3

    My cuticles are cut to the bone and I'm bleeding, but I've never felt more beautiful. 💅🏻

  21. Retweeted
    Jun 3

    At some point, in drafting your 29-tweet Twitter thread, does it occur to you that perhaps you should just write an op-ed?

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