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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    13. ruj 2019.

    you’ve touched my heart, and for that I hope you catch a cold

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  2. prije 9 minuta

    my phone just made a noise at me— thinking of throwing it in the ocean

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 57 minuta

    you got your words mixed up but at least you tried

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    it isn't stalking if I show up at your job with donuts

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    4. velj

    I was planning on running amok but I ended up just sitting amok and I'm okay with that

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    If you don't want to see me pick my nose then I suggest you stop looking at me while I'm driving

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    Do your squats because when you get swooped up in the rapture I’ll be judging your butt.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I sometimes wonder if someone is being held hostage and trying to signal me through AC and predictive text.

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  10. prije 4 sata

    i’m just here to find out how many moments of weakness one person can have in a day

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    It’s 2020 and I’m still having to escape from my sports bra.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    You ever wonder who looked at a wet tea bag and thought, awwwwww yeah I know what this looks like....

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I learned about sex from Howard the Duck.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. lis 2019.

    Find yourself a man who uses your bum cheeks as bongos

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    This day in history. 1941. Australian poet Banjo Paterson who wrote Waltzing Matilda died from an infected billabong.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    If I learned one thing in English class about non sequiturs, it’s that money doesn’t grow on trees.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    One thing that keeps me from taking good selfies is my face.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 18 sati

    I would do obscene things right now for a giant bowl of buttered noodles

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    [at the beach] ME: *pours a bucket of sand down my pants* it’s gonna get everywhere anyway

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 19 sati

    Sorry, I call bullshit.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 18 sati

    them: what the fuck me: fuck if I know

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